Playing With Fire || z.m

"Tea?"

ZAYN

"I've had the weirdest day ever," Ellie sighs into the phone. I can just imagine her now, sitting on the bench in her garden with her knees pulled into her chest smoking a cigarette.

"What happened? You went to the clinic, right?" I excuse myself from the meeting and stand by the window in the hallway. That's all its been recently, meeting after meeting about me and my stupid mistakes.

"Yeah I went to the clinic. I'm not pregnant, the abortion worked. Such a weird thing to say out loud." She sighs again and I just want to hug her. Well, I want to sleep with her, ideally. We haven't done anything sexual since the shit hit the fan. Maybe that could be our plans for this evening. "Something else happened while I was at the clinic though, you aren't going to believe this. Perrie was there."

"You have got to be kidding me." What the fuck is life right now?? This shit is just getting worse as worse. "So she is actually pregnant? If I'd have know she was going to be there I'd have sent you to a different Women's Unit."

"Don't be silly, how would you have known?" True. I haven't spoken to Perrie since she told me the news. "But anyway, about Perrie. Yes, she was pregnant. But now she isn't."

"No, Ellie, no no no. Please tell me she hasn't aborted it?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. Perrie wouldn't abort a baby? That isn't the Perrie I know.

"She didn't abort it. She had a miscarriage." My heart sinks. I need to sit down. My head is spinning like I've downed 50 sambuca shots. Why are there no chairs in this corridor? "She, erm, made me go into the appointment with her."

"Oh fuck, Ellie." I slump down against the wall, my stomach is churning and I just don't know what to do. "What is happening?"

"I went in with her." I can hear Ellie crying on the other end of the phone. "And they gave her a scan but there was no heart beat. She was terrified, Zayn, she made me go in with her and then I had to hold her while she cried."

That's two babies I've lost. Two babies that were out of my control. One baby was terminated without me knowing and the other baby miscarried. I may have super sperm but I'm not destined to be a father at the moment. Not that I want to be. Oh god this is messed up.

Just because I didn't want the baby doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved it.

"Is Perrie okay?"

"This is where it gets even weirder. We're at your place."

"My place? Both of you?" My ex girlfriend and my current girlfriend are in my house, together. They've both carried my babies.

"I didn't know what to do with her! She wouldn't come to mine and she didn't want to go home and have to tell her family. So I just brought her here. I panicked. I'm sorry."

"Please just tell me one thing. Please tell me you haven't been spotted. Tell me there aren't any photographers outside." I hear her open the back door and go into my house, probably to look out the front window.

"There isn't anybody outside. Zayn, please come home, I don't know what to do?" She whispers. "I put Perrie to bed. She's in a right state."

"I can't come home right now. I need to go back into this meeting." I don't want to go home to this mess.

"Zayn, you need to come home. I think I've done my bit now. I've held your ex girlfriend's hand through her most difficult time. This isn't my job. This is your job." I groan at her. I want to just lay down and sleep for three years until this is all over. "And get some bread and milk on your way home. You have nothing in this stupid big house of yours." And she ends the call.

*

I drive home slowly, in a daze. I got out of the meeting as early as I could but I just don't want to go home. I don't want to face this. I don't want to have to do this.

I pull up outside my house and look over at Ellie's. Oh how times have changed. I used to look at the house waiting to catch a glimpse of her, like a bird awaiting it's prey.

I look at my house. Perrie and Ellie are in there. Together. One had a miscarriage. One had an abortion. In a normal world, they should be ripping each others hair out. But in my fucked up world, they are in there supporting each other through baby problems.

I grab the plastic bag containing the milk and bread that Ellie demanded from the seat next to me and make my way into the house, letting myself in as quietly as I can. But Ellie appears almost instantly and grabs the plastic bag from my hands.

"Tea?" She calls as she disappears into the kitchen.

"Please." I call back as I slip my trainers off. I hear the television in the lounge so pop my head around the doorway to see if Perrie is in there and she is. "Hey," She looks up at me and smiles, tears in her eyes. She's wearing my clothes.

"Hi, Zayn." She bursts into tears. "I'm sorry." Without thinking I rush to her side and pull her into a hug.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't come home as soon as Ellie called me. I'm sorry you're having to go through this." My heart breaks for the poor girl. Nobody should have to go through this. Nobody.

It feels like i've gone back in time having Perrie in my arms again until Ellie walks into the room holding two mugs of steaming hot tea, puts them on the coffee table in front of us and leaves again.

"I'm sorry about everything, Perrie."

"Water under the bridge." She mutters, burying her face into my chest. "Nothing we can do about it is there. You know that you're a massive dick. That's all that matters. Ellie's a nice girl. She's been an absolute diamond today." She sits up and grabs her mug, sipping it slowly.

"I'm glad."

"I guess it was for the best, really." I've kind of missed Perrie's annoying accent.

"What was?" I frown.

"The miscarriage. How could we have raised a baby?" Where have I heard this before?! "Look, although you both broke my heart. And Harry's. I'm willing to kind of forgive and forget. I miss you, Zayn, but I realise we were never meant to be. You and Ellie are meant to be. And I like Ellie, a lot. I'd like us to be amicable. I think we should all be friends."

"That's really big of you, Perrie. I really am sorry it ended up this way. I'd like it if we could all get along." I smile at her. She smiles back at me and I actually feel peace, for once, after all I put her through. Now to just work on my relationship with Harry...