Playing With Fire || z.m

"Are you cheating on me, Zayn?"

ZAYN

“I asked you a question, Zayn, what are you doing over at Ellie’s house at 5am?” Perrie doesn’t even look at me; she’s just frozen on the bottom step. There’s no emotion to her voice, I can tell she’s angry but she hasn’t got it in her to lose it.

“Harry called me to ask if I could check she’s okay.” I whisper. This is it; this is how she’s going to find out, isn’t it? She’s going to weasel it out of me like some kind of conversational wizard. I’m still a little drunk from last night and I’m still only half awake so my reactions aren’t working well enough for this. My brain isn’t going quick enough!   

“Then why didn’t I hear your phone ring, or hear you talking?”

“Because I was downstairs getting a drink at the time.”

She laughs, a cold, callous laugh, “Why do you talk out of your arse so much?” I just, I don’t even know how to reply to her. “I woke up when I heard you leaving the bedroom and listened to you leave the house so I obviously watched you from the window. What is going on with Ellie?” She’s acting as though she’s just watched me murder someone.

“Well that’s the point, I don’t know what is going on with Ellie! Harry couldn’t get hold of her so I went to see if she was home.”

“At 5am?” her eyes finally meet mine and the look she gives me resembles disgust.

“I’m going back to bed.” I walk towards her on the bottom step and try to get round her but she doesn’t move. “Move, Perrie.” I snap at her.

“Tell me the truth.”

“That is the truth! I’m going back to bed. When you’ve got over this stupid issue then let me know. I’m not cheating on you, okay?” Her head snaps up to look at me standing above her.

“I never implied you were cheating on me.”

Well, shit. She got me there.

“Well you kind of did. You never said the word but you did imply it.” Oh god.

“No, I just thought it was fucking weird that you were knocking on her door at some god awful hour of the morning. I didn’t ask if you were cheating on me.” She stands up, our bodies close except it’s not love radiating off of her like usual; its hate. “Are you cheating on me, Zayn?”

Do I just own up to it? Admit it, get it off my chest? Do I just tell her? As soon as this information is known then the shit will hit the fan. Things will well and truly end. It could end everything! Harry and I could no longer be friends, Perrie would leave me, and the band would split. Although there is a contract says we can’t.

If I deny this then things will be alright for a while longer. I’ll keep Perrie, Harry and I can still be friends and all is calm.

This is inevitable though! This big secret will come out eventually. Do I just ‘rip the band aid off’ now and tell her?

No. No fucking way, I’m way too cowardly for that. Like fuck can I stand here and own up to everything.

“Of course not, baby.” I smile at her and stroke her cheek with my fingers. Her face doesn’t change, she still looks absolutely fuming.

“Show me your phone then.”

“Oh for… Perrie, you can’t be serious?” I move away from her and escape up the stairs although she bloody follows me.

“If you’re not cheating on me then you can let me check your phone.”

“You need to fucking trust me.” She can check my phone; I deleted everything off it yesterday so all she will see is the group chat between me and the lads last night. Perrie grabs my phone off my nightstand and shoves it in my direction.