Playing With Fire || z.m

"We all have our moments."

ZAYN

I couldn’t get Ellie off my mind the next morning as I travelled into Central London with the boys. I kept replaying the previous night over and over in my mind as I looked out the car window, watching the world pass by. She was amazing; her soft lips, her small hands, the feeling of being inside her, her voice as she moaned my name.

“Hello? Earth to Zayn!” I snap out of my day dream as someone shoves my head from behind.

“What?” I snap.

“We’re stopping at Starbucks, do you want anything?” Harry laughs.

“No, fuck off.” It was too early for me to think about manners. I pull my beanie hat further onto my head, cross my arms and go back to gazing out the window.

“Such a charming individual, Zayn, aren’t you.” Louis comments, playfully.

“You can fuck off as well Tomlinson.” As much as I love these boys they really do know how to get on my nerves. Early mornings aren’t my thing. It still baffles me how they can talk and smile before 9am.   

“Suit yourself.” Louis mutters as we stop at the coffee shop and the four of them climb out the van. “I think perhaps some caffeine may help your spoilt brat behaviour this morning, Zayn, no?”

Without answering him, I lean over and pull the sliding door shut. I watch from behind the blacked out window as they all laugh and walk off. I slump down in my seat and shut my eyes hoping for some extra sleep but all I can see is Ellie. How has she captured me like this? It was a one night thing yet I can’t stop picturing her naked body.

Perrie. My girlfriend. I need to imagine Perrie naked. Perrie is beautiful and the way she kisses me is so loving. She loves me and I love her. I love her. But I have a small crush on this exciting brunette that’s just arrived in my life. That’s all it is; a crush. We spent one night together and that’s all it’ll be.

The van door slides open making me jump and the boys all pile in clutching take out coffee cups.

“Zayn?” Niall holds a cup in front of me. “I grabbed a coffee for you, mate.”

“I said I didn’t want anything.” I keep my arms folded across my chest. So what if I was acting like an arsehole? Niall doesn’t move, he keeps a blank expression on his face and keeps his arm out stretched towards me. The three other lads begin chattering amongst themselves and I admire Niall for facing me out. I tut loudly and take the cup off him anyway.

“Thank you.” I mutter under my breath so only he can here me.

“What’s up this morning? Are you missing Perrie?”

“Yeah.” I agree. Yes, that’s the problem, I’m just missing Perrie, that’s why I’m being a jerk.

“We’re only trying to be nice, Zayn.”

“I appreciate the coffee, thank you Niall. Sorry for being rude.” I lean my head against his shoulder and take my attention back to the world outside the window, sipping occasionally from the steaming hot drink in my hands.

I need to see Ellie again. Maybe this one time thing would turn into a two time thing? I need to feel her lips on mine, her hands on my cheeks. I want to see her in her sexy underwear, my hands on her hips as I push myself into her, pleasing both of us.

No. No it’s Perrie I need to see. Perrie always looks hot as fuck in her underwear. Perrie is so slim where as Ellie has a bit of meat on her. They both look amazing in underwear in many different ways.

For god sake, Zayn stop this! Perrie is my girlfriend, Perrie is all I can think about, and Perrie is the one I want to fuck. Full stop.

*

“Flashing lights in my mind, Going back to the time, Playing games in the street, Kicking balls with my feet, There’s a numb in my toes, Standing close to the edge, There’s a pile of my clothes, At the end of your bed…” I stop singing but the music carries on. I feel all the boys staring at me but the words just won’t come out. Why won’t the words come out? I stand, clutching onto the mic stand, my mouth hanging open, praying for the words to come.

“You are bloody lucky this is a rehearsal, Malik.” A voice barks from somewhere in the arena. I don’t even know who it is, but I know it’s someone important. “Grab a break, remember your bloody words and get back here. I want this perfect. Got it?”

I don’t even answer, I just run off the stage and out the fire exit. I stop as soon as the cold air hits my face and I take a deep breath. What is wrong with me? It felt like I really did have flashing lights in my mind, I couldn’t get Ellie out of my head. What the hell?

“Are you alright, mate?” I hear Louis’ soft voice from behind me and turn to face him. He holds a fag and a lighter out in front of me and I swear my heart melts a little. He has a heart of gold. All the boys do.

“Thanks, Lou.” I take it from him and light up, enjoying the feeling of smoke filling my lungs.

“What was that back there?”

I shrug. “I don’t know what got into me. I just froze. I know all the words; I never forget lyrics to songs. I never fuck up the lyrics.” My voice rises as my temper begins to kick in.

“Don’t worry, we all have our moments.” Louis puts his hand on my shoulder. He suddenly lets out a loud laugh. “Moments! Get it? We all have our moments, singing Moments.” He snorts and suddenly my anger fades and I join him, laughing along with him.

“Thanks for cheering me up, Louis.” He begins walking back towards the fire exit door.

“I know you aren’t much of a talker but if you need to get anything off your chest then I’m here. We’re all here. We are a team remember?” I look away from him, a lump forming in my throat. What is wrong with me at the moment?

“Fuck off before you make me cry.” I mutter, taking a pull on my cigarette.

Louis laughs, “Sort your shit out, Zayn, and then come back and kill this song, okay?” He disappears back inside leaving the door to slam shut behind him.  

A/N Sorry about the short chapters, I’m working on making them longer! Please remember to vote and comment etc it means a lot to me!!