Playing With Fire || z.m

"Tell me what to do."

ZAYN

“Hey, babe. Sorry, I was a bit longer than I expected.” I slip my shoes off and look at her, stood in the middle of the lounge, her arms wrapped around her body. “What’s up?” Her face is freakishly pale. She doesn’t answer, she doesn’t even look at me. “Are you sick? Why don’t we go to bed, its been an eventful few weeks. Let’s get some rest.”

“I don’t need to rest.” She snaps. I don’t know what else to say to her, I don’t know what to suggest. “Where have you been?” She’s trying to be cross with me, I can tell but her voice breaks, sounding horse and strained.

“I just popped out. No biggie.” I shrug her off. “Do you want a coffee?”

“No, I don’t want a fucking coffee, I want to know where you were. Who were you with? Are you seeing someone else already?”

“What?” Is she serious? With the amount of shit we’ve gone through, still going through, does she really think I’d waste all my time and be onto the next girl already??

“Where were you?” She asks again.

“I wasn’t with another girl, don’t think so little of me. Look, don’t be mad, okay? The truth is, I went to pick up.” Her face is blank. “Pick up.” I repeat, trying to get her to understand. For some reason I just don’t want to voice the word to her.

“Pick up what?” She doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

“I went to pick up drugs. Okay? I went to buy some weed.” My heart beats over time, waiting for her to react.

“Are you serious? Why the fuck could you not just tell me that? You really think I am going to judge?” True. When you think about all the things she’s done wrong, me buying weed isn’t really an issue.

“Fair enough.” I don’t know why she looks so upset though, I guess I did just leave her randomly with out giving her an explanation, she’s probably been playing out all sorts of scenarios in her head. “Sorry, I should have just said.”

“You left your phone here.” She whispers.

“Oh, sorry, babe. Were you trying to call me?” I sit down on the sofa and hold out one arm indicating to her that I want her to join me but she ignores the gesture and stays in the same position.

“No, Perrie was trying to call you.” Oh you are fucking kidding me. What has she got to say to me now? Why would she possibly want to speak to me again? “I’m really sorry but I sort of listened to her voice message.” She passes me my phone. “I think you need to listen to it.”

I want to be pissed at her for listening to it. A mobile phone is private. But something is telling me this is serious. This is obviously the cause of her reaction, not about me going out without telling her where I was going. I put the phone to my ear and listen to my ex girlfriend.

“Hi Zayn. It’s me. It’s Perrie. I just, oh god, I shouldn’t do this over the phone but I have something to tell you and I’m just too terrified to do it to your face. I know, I’m a coward. I don’t really know how to say this. Well I guess there is only one way to say it. It’s just, well, the thing is, I think… no, scratch that, I know that, well, I’m pregnant.”

The phone falls from my hand, crashing onto the floor.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. She didn’t just say that. I imagined those words.

“Did she just say…?” I put my chin in my hands and look at Ellie who is nodding her head slowly.

“What are you going to do, Zayn?” She comes and sits next to me. Okay, I can totally understand the lack of colour in her face. I’m sure my face is also drained of its colour.