Playing With Fire || z.m

"I am so sorry."

ELLIE

‘See you soon’ echoes round my head as I try to focus on the television. ‘See you soon.’ Who knows when soon is? I certainly don’t. Maybe it’s for the best? Maybe it’s a good thing that Zayn and I stop seeing each other? Of course it’s a good thing! He has Perrie back, they are a happy couple, and they are in love. And as for me? Well, I am happy alone.

I am happy alone. All alone. Just me. I haven’t even got any cats.

I am very happy alone.

Aren’t I?

Before I give myself a chance to think any more, I grab my iphone and type a quick text out.

*When can I see you again? Ellie x*

I send it to Harry before I change my mind. I do want to see him again. Of course I do. Harry is a lovely guy, really thoughtful and very entertaining. I feel I can actually be myself with Harry, like he accepts the fact that I’m goofy so we can be goofy together where as with Zayn I am having to be some kind of sex goddess which is the complete opposite to my real self.    

*Tomorrow? Harry x*

I smile, falling back onto my sofa, feeling like a silly little teenager.

*Sure. Come to me this time? I live opposite Zayn. Ellie x*

I was actually really excited. Who knows what the future holds for Average Ellie and Harry Styles? I’m sure it would be a heck of a lot better than the future of Average Ellie and Zayn Malik. My phone pings loudly in my hands.

*Sounds perfect. See you tomorrow. H x*

“Eeeeeek.” I squeal, jumping up off the sofa and hopping around the living room like a mental patient.

*

“Morning, neighbour.” I hear loud and clear as I lock my front door.

“Bollocks.” I mutter under my breath. I turn slowly to see Zayn looking sexy as fuck in dark jeans and a leather jacket, standing next to his car with a beautiful blonde standing the other side of the car. “Morning.” I call back, smiling. I can’t actually take my eyes off of Perrie, she is truly stunning. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a tight bun and she has on a lovely expensive looking trench coat.

“Where are you off to, this fine morning?” Zayn locks his car with a simple click on his car key, looking straight into my eyes as he does so.

“I’m off to the supermarket. Where have you both been?” Zayn joins Perrie on the pavement, putting his arm around her shoulders. I feel a pang of jealousy travel around my body, chilling my insides and speeding up my heart beat at the same time. They look perfect together.

“We went for breakfast.” He smiles down at her. I nod. Please stop talking to me.

“That’s nice. Anyway, it was nice to see you.” I give a little wave and clumsily clamber into my car. I feel so flustered I forget how to start the damn thing.

Sort yourself out Taylor! For fucks sake. Before I can stop myself I turn my head and watch the pair of them walk down the pathway to Zayn’s house. My stomach does several somersaults seeing them hold hands and my hands grow increasingly sweaty.

What is wrong with me?

I start the car and drive away as quickly as possible. Away from Zayn. Away from all this bullshit.

*

“It smells amazing, what is it that you are cooking?” Harry says, standing next to me over the hob.

“A chicken curry.” I reply as I stir the contents of the hot pan. He’s right, it smells amazing and I’m not quite sure how because I am awful at cooking. Someone remind me why I decided to cook for Harry on our second date? “Don’t get too excited, it might taste like shit.” I joke and he laughs.

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” Suddenly I am aware of how close Harry is standing. His arm brushes mine and I feel myself getting flustered.

Keep calm, girl. It’s only Harry Styles standing in your kitchen while you cook him dinner!

“So, uh, what, uh, when, I mean,” What am I saying? All of a sudden the wooden spoon drops from my hand and I react quickly, grabbing at it. This is the part where I should be praising myself for having great quick reactions but oh no. No, no. Instead of catching the spoon I manage to bounce it off my hand and I watch in slow motion as it flicks curry sauce up Harry’s crisp white t-shirt, landing on the floor in front of his feet.

I have no words. I can’t… Did I really just…

I have just flicked curry all over Harry freaking Styles.

I’ve always thought it was bloody weird when people said they wanted to ground to swallow them up, but I totally get that phrase right now. I have never wanted to disappear as much as now.

“I am so sorry.” I whisper slowly. Harry is just staring down at his t-shirt. “I am so, so sorry.” I don’t think my eyes have ever been so wide, my mouth is dry and my body has never sweated so much.

Harry suddenly looks up at me, a strange look in his eye. And he laughs.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” He lets out a little snort. I watch as his head falls back and he lets out a loud chuckle. I don’t know whether to feel relieved or not that he is laughing. “It was an accident, don’t look so frightened!”

Harry grabs both my wrists and pulls me into him, flinging his arms around me, pulling me into him.

“Harry, no, we are both wearing white tops, they’re going to stain!” I panic, trying to push him off of me but he clings on, still laughing.

“Who cares? I’ll replace them! It’s only clothes! I’m sorry I’m laughing, just, your face was a picture as you tried to catch the spoon.”

“You bully.” I laugh lightly along with him, my panic slowly melting away. Thank God he took it so well. I had visions of him storming out. “I’m sorry; I’m such a clumsy person.”

“Hey, look at me.” He tilts my chin up so I look up at his smiling face, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “It’s cute, I like that you’re a klutz.” Our eyes lock and my heart starts beating over time. “I am too. There is no such thing as perfect.”

He leans down slightly, his lips inches away from mine. My hands suddenly have a mind of their own as they reach up and pull his face closer, our lips connecting. His lips are soft yet slightly rough and fit perfectly against mine.

Holy cow I’m kissing Harry Styles.

Harry’s tongue swipes across my bottom lip asking for entry to my mouth which I gladly give. His kiss is gentle, tender, and loving. His mouth tastes of mint and I must say it is absolutely heavenly.   

But kissing Zayn is different. Zayn isn’t soft or loving. He doesn’t taste of mint, he tastes of cigarettes. Zayn’s kisses are heated and wild and rough.

Both Zayn’s and Harry’s kisses are entirely different yet amazing.

Wait.

Why am I thinking of Zayn while I have Harry’s tongue in my mouth?