Violet Vacancy

Chapter 20- Lyra's Worst Memory

Chapter 20- Lyra’s worst memory

Lyra pov

I had been spending a lot of time with Remus. He was like the best friend I never had. He’s been trying to teach me the Patronus charm. I think I might be getting a little better at it. Maybe. It was a Saturday and I’d been in Snape’s office for hours, failing at Occulumency.

“Weak.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

I struggled to get up. The room was dark and eerie and I usually felt at home in a place like this. Right now I’d rather be in the Forbidden Forest. My stomach would twist in a knot anytime he issued an attack. There were certain memories I preferred him not to view. I had no power whatsoever over what he saw. No matter how hard I struggled I couldn’t do any better. I tried. Snape waited for me to get up. I glared at him. Dick. Bitch. Asshole. I got up, and he didn’t even ask if I was ready.

“Legilimens!”

I then saw what I had been dreading.

My father was screaming at mother and throwing glasses. I was being kicked down the stairs again. Many of the beating from my father reappeared. Mum was passed out drunk again. The other kids at school were bullying me. I was being hung upside down. I was alone in my room, sobbing, slowly slicing open my wrists, the bright red blood staining the sheets….

“NO!”

I was on the ground again, only this time there was no feelings of anger or violation; I felt empty and sadness I had repressed with those memories. I began sobbing; my vision was blurred with tears. I felt myself being lifted into a standing position. Snape wrapped his arms around me….was…was he hugging me? That’s unnatural, especially for him. At that moment I didn’t care. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed harder than I had in years. Harder than last year when I was nearly raped. I was shaking. Snape took my arm and gently pulled up my sleeve, revealing many scars. Some from years ago. Some that had been reopened recently. He hugged and stroked me.

Severus pov

I now saw her differently. Her life was no better than mine, if anything worse. All I’d done the past two years was make it worse. I felt incredible remorse. I stroked her. It would be different now.