Violet Vacancy

Chapter 43- Deep Truth

Lyra pov.

 Over the next few days I found out Dumbledore was the glue that held this place together, and with him gone everyone was in shambles. Umbridge had taken over the school, the students seemed to have died a little on the inside and somehow I hadn’t been fired yet. This was very odd considering I had lived up to Dumbledore’s request. I pulled everything from slipping things into her drinks to downright insulting her. She turned the same shade as her cardigan and hopped around like a bullfrog but somehow I was still just here. O.W.L.s would begin soon and Severus had become incredibly bitter; even more than usual.  I assumed it was stress but the issue seemed to run deeper; as if something had hit a nerve. And again, due to my “punishment”, I can only assume he was being particularly awful to his classes.  Lately, it seemed I had very little to do. While I tried my best to piss that old hag off, it seemed the Weasley twins had that position well covered, I had no place in the class and I had no interest in helping Severus pull that stick out of his ass. So I spent most of my days in the library or wandering. Which despite, its appeal, wasn’t so fun alone. Mondays were the worst, today was the beginning of second term and it particularly dragged on. I sat at my desk in my chambers, resignedly flipping through the pages of a book I’d checked out on Wizarding History. Suddenly, my door opened and banged against the wall, Snape looking once again, incredibly distressed.

“You. In my office. Now.”  He stated bluntly. I shrank against my seat, feeling as though I was a student about to receive detention. Now normally I would scold him for speaking to me so rudely, but I had been so secluded these past few weeks I felt grateful for this small bit of contact, though his discourteous tone did ignite a small spark of anger within me, I decided now was not the time to pursue chewing him out. He pivoted with a certain flourish then departed, his ebony cloak flowing and swaying behind him as he did. I followed him, like a lost puppy, curious about what it regarded. I had barely come in contact with him, what could I have possibly done to irritate him this time? I threaded my way through the students clambering to get to their destinations once again, fighting to keep up with Snape who parted crowds without a word. I trailed meekly behind him all the way to the dungeons. He abused this door as well, pushing it open with a measurable amount force. What could he be so angsty about?  I didn’t flinch when this door bounced off the wall, for this was more of his typical behavior. Severus was a mixture of bitter hated and vicious sarcasm, ready to blow at any second by one small comment. He was an arrogant, bitchy, mess and I loved everything about him. It all started with a kiss, how did it end up like this?  He left scars on my heart on a regular basis but my infatuation only grew stronger. It was maddening, and my stomach was bubbling with both excitement and dread as I took a seat next to him. I stay silent, waiting for him to yell at me. Instead, his usual scowl melted into something more humane. Not kind enough of an expression to be considered friendly, but it was just enough of a shift to dismantle the impression he was a superior being. His eyes, used to boring into yours, sensing your Insecurities and uncomfortability, now seemed to search the floor.

"There's been something I wish to discuss with you a while now." His velvety voice flowed as usual.

"I've gotten that impression." I muttered idly. " Silence began to chip away at my patience.

"Do you recall years ago, when Albus made proclamations of our future love? " My stomach lurched; of course I remembered in fact I constantly dwelled on it. How could Dumbledore have known I would develop these unrequited feelings for a man I partiality despised at the time?  Dumbledore must have become fed up with my stalling and had told him himself. This must be His way of trying to let me down easily. The puzzling part was he seemed almost pained.

"Look I'll save you the trouble. You don't return my feelings, I'm only your friend at most you're a lone wolf blah blah blah." I spoke quickly and resignedly, considering this was something I had tried to conceal for some time now. To my surprise relief did not flood his face as I expected, instead a fire exploded across his cheeks, and between the cracks in his stern expression the constantly in control man looked befuddled.

"Did you just admit long term feelings for me? And call me a wolf?"

“Stop being stupid, you know exactly why I’m here. You don’t have to mock me. And you can stop looking so pissed. It’s not so bad “My voice diminished, ebbed away by shame, my cheeks alight with humiliation.

“No it’s not bad it’s…” for the first time I realized I wasn’t the only one who was bathing in the awkwardness of the situation. His usual waterfall of intricate and patronizing words was choppy, and almost. For the first time in five years, I had caught Severus Snape off guard. “Perfect.”

“Huh?” It was apparent that emotions, especially his own were like a foreign language to him. He’d understand more if I were speaking rapid French. A smile seemed to be tugging at the corner of his thin mouth, and to my surprise he slipped his hand into mine. His hand was cold but sent warm tingles radiated throughout my body. The door clicked open at the moment I parted my lips to question him.

“Shut the door behind you, Potter.” I shifted uncomfortably, unsure if my absence would be noted. I wasn’t keen on Occulumency whether I was teacher or student. The air was thick with tension as Harry slumped down into the seat across Snape.

“Well Potter, you know why you are here. The headmaster has asked me to teach you Occulumency. I can only hope you prove more adept at it than Potions. “I stiffened as he started tearing into Potter. I hated watching the way he treated the students; I stood up.

“Lyra please; your presence for this lesson is essential.”

“Why? You saw how awful I was when you tried to teach me. I’m of no use.”

“Perhaps your skills aren’t advanced as they could be but it is crucial you view the Potter boy’s lessons, I can explain later. And…I suppose I don’t mind your company.” He almost muttered the last part and Harry looked about as puzzled as I felt. Severus never admitted liking anything; it just wasn’t in his nature to be pleasant. He always talked about Harry as if he wasn’t there, which I had made very clear to him was very rude. But when it came to Harry, my opinion carried no weight, as I took my seat once more; his slender fingers laced themselves with mine again. I felt a warm flush spread across my cheeks and an uprising of butterflies in my stomach. But this just wasn’t possible. Severus had always displayed the utmost hatred for me; that didn’t change overnight, he was always snapping, criticizing and driving me away; why just yesterday he scolded me for not putting a napkin in my lap during dinner. But here he was, stroking the back of my hand gently as he droned on and on about the beauty of Occulumency. I did my best to pay attention and soak up the information he was telling Harry but I still wasn’t keen on the topic. As he had done in my sessions he placed his wand to his temple and extracted a silvery strand, placing it in the Pensieve. He did this a few more times; Harry seemed mesmerized by the swirling substance, and terrified.

“Stand up and take out your wand, Potter.”  Harry stood and Snape almost recited the discourse he had used when teaching me.  I watched as the game began, Snape entering Harrys mind without so much as a warning. It was an awful sight, Harry twitched as if he were in pain, he looked strained and ill before at the last second, Snape gave a yelp and Harry flopped to the floor, banging his knee on the desk. This was the pattern that followed. Snape entered, Harry couldn’t repel him, Harry fell, and they yelled at each other and began again.

“I want you back here, the same time on Wednesday and we will continue the work then.” Harry grunted in response, rubbing the purple bruises forming on his knobby knees.

“You could be a bit nicer to him.” He waved away my comment, and then gently took my hand. This time he made eye contact, sending a shiver down my spine.

“What is this?” I spoke in barely more than a whisper but I knew he heard me.

“What do you want it to be?” I felt a bit of a smile tug at the corner of my mouth. Instead of trying to tangle words together to spell out the months, maybe even years of buried and confused feelings I had for him, I took refuge in his chest, nuzzling the soft fabric of his robes. He wrapped his arms around me, gently stroking my spine.

“Come. We must go speak with someone in the Order who can deliver a message to Albus.”

“Why?”

“So he can explain to you what must happen over the course of the next few years and to find out how he foresaw this.”