Social Casualties - 1 [ 5SOS ]

41. Social Repose

° Michael °

After returning from my suspension for initiating the fight with Austin, I had made it as my opportunity to explain to Alicia what's left between the both of us. As well as to confess my sins to the Jesus she currently was.

Yet, the anxious feeling within the pit of my stomach kept me from even uttering a single word. I had felt it my responsibility to tell Alicia of my misfortunate actions—but it contradicted my nervousness toward the subject.

Alicia sat next to me on the school bench, writing away in her notebook to finish any of her left over assignments, and I found myself continuously attempting to say something, though couldn't find the voice to say it with.

I had eventually forgiven her about her confession, though I couldn't help but have the words rewind nonstop within my head. Our relationship was built upon a vengeful action, and it bothered me at every extent. Though I suppose some would say what I found for Juliet would be the same thing—a vengeful action. Yet, I disagreed. Juliet was not vengeful, it was accidental—fateful.

Alicia seemed to have noticed my current state, because she looked up from her notebook, and gave me a small smile.

"Is something on your mind?" she asked, "When you asked to hang out, I figured you'd want to talk"

"I–I do" I stuttered out, brushing my palms together in angst, "I'm just trying to find a way to"

Alicia stayed silent, pursing her lips in thought before she spoke, "Maybe I should start then" she said as she shifted her body toward me, "Mikey, you mean the world to me, and that'll never change" she began, and I was taken aback by her words, "It's just, lately my feelings for you have been on a lesser scale of intimacy—"

"Wait" I muttered out, "A–are you breaking up with me?" I asked her in slight shock.

Alicia looked at me with remorse, and I stifled a small chuckle which confused her all the more.

"N–no" I laughed out, "You can't try to break up with me when I was planning on doing so" I told her, and she raised an eyebrow, "That's not how it's supposed to work, I was supposed to tell you about how much I still care about you, that I don't want this anymore" I gestured between the two of us.

"I–I'm sorry I ruined that for you" Alicia said with confusion in her tone, "But you understand where I'm coming from, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I do!" I yelled out, "Hence the entire purpose I was trying to break things off" I told her, "You just—beat me to it, I guess" I mumbled, slouching back from where I sat on the bench.

"I'm glad we settled it then" Alicia said in an awkward tone, "Now can we just go back to homework sessions during class and midnight candy runs?" she laughed.

I smiled, looking down at my palms, and feeling an essence of relief from my chest and shoulders. Until I had been reminded of my confession in which was begging to be brought up.

"Ali" I muttered out, looking to her, "There's something I need to tell you" I told her, looking to her with guilt-induced eyes.

"What is it?" she asked me, licking her lips as she waited for me to continue.

"Erm—I'm—glad we handled that well" I told her, and she responded with a small smile, and a nod.

I inhaled deeply, feeling no emotion to my lack of a confession.

° Calum °

I gathered the last of my equipment from behind the bar of L'Antiquité, bringing my pens and notebooks into the pocket of my backpack as I prepared to leave back for school, until the chiming of the bells on the door caught my attention.