Alyssa's POV
I know that I dont own you,
and perhaps I never will,
so my anger when you're with her,
I have no right to feel.
I know that you dont owe me,
and I shouldn't ask for more;
I shouldn't feel so let down,
all the times when you dont call.
What I feel-- I shouldn't show you,
so when youre around I wont;
I know I've no right to feel it--
But it doesn't mean I dont.
-Lang Leav
I sighed after reading that poem again. Hindi ko na mabilang bilang kung pang-ilan ko na yun binasa ng paulit ulit. I've already memorized it. Tagos eh, its as if sakin binase ng poet yung bawat letra ng poem na yun.
For years, I've become the world's greatest pretender, actress, denial queen.
Ang hirap. Ang sakit. Ang lungkot at higit sa lahat ang bobo ko.
Ang bobo ko. Bat ba kasi sa lahat ng lalaking pwede kong magustuhan yung mahal pa talaga ng kaibigan ko.
Kaibigan ko. Mas nagdagdag lang yun sa sakit eh. Meaning palagi ko silang nakikita. I've seen how their relationship goes. Sideline lang ako palagi. To think I already admire him first before the two of them have known each other just adds more salt to my wound. Hindi niya ako napansin. He didnt know I exist more than just a friend. But when it comes to her, wala eh talo ako. Sobrang talo ako agad.
Masakit umasa. Masakit masaktan ng paulit-ulit pero ikaw lang yung may alam na nasasaktan ka na. Of course, kasi hindi nga nila alam. Hindi nila pwedeng malaman. I wanted my friend to be happy. I wanted Mika to be happy. And also I wanted him to be happy. Kaya okay lang na ako nalang yung masaktan.
Tanggap ko ng martyr ako pero you cant blame me for still hoping at the corner. Praying na sana naman mapansin niya rin ako not just as a schoolmate, or a member of the varsity team and not just as a friend.
Pero manhid lang talaga siguro siya- No, Scratch that- hindi siguro, kasi manhid talaga siya.
Just Ughh! Puso naman eh. Damn you! Ikaw may kasalanan lahat nito. Hindi ka marunong mamili.
And damn him also.
Damn you Kiefer Ravena for making me feel so invisible.
******
AN: Another story!
Heads up lang, malayo layo pa yung mga kiligkilig dito ha. I'm going with the flow.
Hope you like and support this one.
Fingers crossed.
See you next!
