Lost And Lonely

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I don't know what to do with my life

What ties to cut with a bloodied knife

Where to go or whom to love

How not to fall from so high above,

Or how to get back up from falling

I've never had my own calling.

Over and over I've been played and played

My heart has gone black, withered and decayed

I can't feel anything, but I feel everything

A hole in my sole, pain is nothing but is everything

Lonely and solely, sad and a horrible being, I am only

Do I wait or do I go?

Is it a heavy weight, or am I simply being told no?

I am lost and lonely, I can't take this only

Nobody wants me even as a friend,

My pain will not bend.

Falling back into the grasps of addiction

Such a horrific prediction

I'm just alone and lost,

Whom should I trust, what will be the cost?

It can't be worse than Hell,

But every time it's the only story I tell.

Where do I go? Should I go? How do I go?

I'm confused, unable to spark the fuse

Bottle inside and try to hide

I keep everything in my heart,

Perhaps that's the reason for it's tearing apart

Or all of the ones that have broken it and played,

Or most likely it was because of myself, the price was paid

Karma has taken it's toll, and I can't tell if it's cold

I just need help, I want it to stop

I want the Hell inside to drop

Somebody to love, to trust

Not for me to them, but for them to me

I want to remember again

What it's like,

To be free..

11/14/16

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