In a reality of recovery,
Healthy and happy
May not always mean stable.
Smiles and laughs,
Joy and fun,
All until the sound of a gun.
No sadness, no madness
Just leftover insanity,
Left from lack of vanity
Or perhaps, lack of humanity.
Darkness regains, appearing again
No reason, just to remind you of back then
No problems, just bottled
Suicide thoughts are throttled
Though it may be normal through recovery,
Is it normal to be your own discovery?
To find your own self in reality, to feel two sides
No struggles, no worries, just hidden stress
And old stories
Meant to say one thing, but comes out another
"I don't want to be awake."
"I don't want to be alive."
No sadness, no pain, no depression or insanity madness
Still the thoughts of death roam through the head,
Recovery might as well be dead
If this is how life is lived, how rewards are earned
Perhaps it is to stay numb for which we yearned
No matter how, no matter they
The world will come to an end if to stay
There is no reality of recovery,
No healthy and happy,
There is only damaged and wounded,
Battered and scarred.
Bettered and soothed,
Makeshift fixed, bandages cover
The damage is done, for it may be shut in the heart
But never the soul and mind
Only all alone, in the midst of reality darkness
Will they be torn apart.
8/5/16
YOU ARE READING
ShaneM Original Poetry Collection
PoetryTW: Dark and graphic emotions/thoughts. I am updating this collection of poetry as I have kind of left it alone for a long time. I started this in 2017, and while I have written many poems over the years, I have also stopped writing for a long time...
