ShaneM Original Poetry Collection

My Last Time

I know I'm getting played,

My happiness has never stayed

I can see what's happening to my and myself

But I've given up on trying to be myself

So I let go and I lead astray

The ashes I breathe into the heart that is now my ashtray

Lost and confused, lost and I'm running a short fuse

Falling between the dark and bad, I don't know what to choose

No matter where I go, I'll end up leaving

Whether it be alive or if I'm not breathing

So I cry and cry, tears fall through the sky

Cry and cry, the feelings in my chest wither and die

Unattached from what is happening, but willingly falling

Maybe this will be the edge in which I've fallen

Every small thing pushes me closer to the edge

Every small thing pushes me off the ledge

Hanging off the cliff, I'm slipping

My grip can't hold, it won't,

My blood is dripping

Cold at night,

It's warm in my fight

Only memories I have

Are the ones that tear me in half

From laying on the floor, fading in and out

To the ones that make me lose all my doubt

At one point I had faith, I had hope

Now all my fate is concealed by is this swaying rope

So we swing life away, and we're leaving

It's never too late, but for me it's hard breathing

Living this life gets away from me,

And all I know is that I'm not free

Being played, lied to, cheated

Deceived and defeated

It's okay, though, I know

This is how I flow

So used to being heartbroken

This time I've decided to let it tear me open

If it's all that happens to me in my life,

At least I know where I can find the closest knife

In my back where my heart's turned black

In my back where my heart and soul are cracked

Split in half,

The only life I have

Being played and faked

People lie to me and leave me and I break

Unlock the door, get in and drive

This will be my last night alive

My love to those closest, I give

A tragedy waiting to happen is how I've lived

This will be the last time I'm played

The last time I stayed

For those who have only held me deeper

To those that have been my keeper

My last time that I break down,

The last time I'm wandering around

For someone to help me,

To guide me

For someone to sit beside me

All I'm used to is pain,

All I know is the same

The tragedy of a broken train

Tracks under a bridge,

My last night is just over the ridge

Where the sun sets but never rises

Where darkness with moonlight comes all sizes

I can see clearly

My heart is broken so dearly

Right through your lies, it's obvious you're not true

It's obvious you're not telling the truth

But this is what I'm used to

Being played, being lied to

Fake friends and fake people

Glancing at my future through a peephole

This will be my last night I see the light

This will be the last time I let someone walk all over me

And the last time

Where I always feel free.

5/22/17