[EDITING] ChanBaek: Wildest Dreams ¦ 슬픈 사랑 Series

(40) Of Confessions

Nagulat sya ng mag-ring ang phone sa night stand nya. It's past 12:00 at sobrang antok na antok na sya. That Kasper guy drained the remaining patience out of him. The guy insisted to bring him home, kulang nalang sipain nya na to sa sobrang inis (hindi nga sya nag-kulang at sinipa nya na to), sinamahan pa ng kayabangan nitong abot langit.

Sinagot nya ang tawag habang nag-mumura sa isip.

"Sinusumpa ko kung sino ka man, kukunin ka din ni Lord."

[How cruel Baek.]

Nawala lahat ng antok na nararamdaman nya ng marinig ang boses ni Chanyeol. Don't get him wrong, hindi naman sa natutuwa syang tumatawag to, it's just that, nakakagulat lang na tatawag to sakanya ng gantong oras.

"If you're calling while you're with some doe-eyed guy, please lang patayin mo tong tawag bago ikaw ang patayin ko." Naiirita nyang sagot.

[Good morning to you too.]

"Chanyeol. If you don't have any business please lang, nag-papahinga na ko."

[Wait! I just want to hear you. Sorry kung hindi ako nakapunta kanina dyan. Tulips nalang tuloy yung nakarating.]

"I told you, stop what you're doing. As long as you're living with him, that won't change a thing. Kahit na wala kayong ginagawa. Kahit na sabihin mong hindi mo na sya mahal, it won't change a fucking thing."

Because you once loved him, so much, so dearly na kahit ngayon nakikita ko parin yang puso mo tuwing titingnan mo sya.

[I know, kaya nga gusto ko sanang tumira kasama ka.]

His heart jump on his throat. That was so uncalled for. Nasamid yata sya sa laway nya dahil sa narinig.

"But you still can't promise to cut ties with him."

[He's a brother to me too, more than the romantic shits we've shared.]

"I know."

He didn't expect that this phone call would even last a minute, pero heto sya mag-lilimang minuto nang kausap ang lalaki.

[Let me in again Baek. You know I love you.]

"I..." I love you too.

[Sorry. I know I should've told you—]

"Good night."

Pinatay nya ang tawag. Isn't it right to feel scared? Is it right to trust him all over again when all he did is to break the trust he's giving him. Natatakot sya. Hindi sapat lahat ng sinasabi ni Chanyeol para maniwala sya, para mag-tiwala ulit sya.

He never felt this scared in his life. Natatakot sya kay Chanyeol.

Bumangon sya at pumunta sa kusina. Chanyeol took all his might to sleep. Ngayon hindi na sya dalawin ng antok. Naupo sya sa lamesa saka nag-salin ng wine sa baso.

Hindi sya iiyak dahil lang sa phone call na yon.

Hindi sya bibigay dahil lang sinabi ni Chanyeol na mahal sya nito.

Pero mukang hindi kaya ng simpleng wil lang ang nararamdaman nya. Nag-salin ulit sya sa baso bago inumin ng tuloy-tuloy.

He cover his face with both of his palms. Sobbing his heart out again. Ang tanga nya, sobra. He wanted to be blinded by Chanyeol's i love you again, pero natatakot sya. He's still on the verge of drowning and he's not doing anything against it. Wala syang ginagawa para makaahon, mas gusto nya pang malunod lalo sa mahal kita kaysa sa makaahon ng wala ang lalaki sa tabi nya.