Indecisive

Chapter 30

Dinner started. Everyone was engaged in different conversations excluding Zen, who sat at the corner, slowly eating his dinner. I felt pity for him, tempting me to drag him to a corner and talk to him instead. Conversational topics about business and future plans bore me.

Glenn tried to start a conversation with me but I merely replied with a smile or a 'yes' or 'no'. He expressed no signs of anger, which was starting to tick me off. I just want to ask him why but not in front of our parents.

Halfway during dessert, Zen interrupted all by standing from his seat. He forced a smile and humbly spoke, "With apology, I have to leave early. Enjoy and thanks for the dinner." He just walked away after making everyone stop their ongoing conversations. This was worse than I thought. He will never do anything this impolite.

"Zen." I unknowingly stood up from my seat, trying to catch up with him. Glenn held me back, holding on to my wrist tightly. I tried tugging my hand away from his hold but it became tighter with every pull. He mouthed, sit down.

"No. Glenn, let me go. I'm going to catch up with Zen."

Glenn gave up and started speaking out loud. "Harley, you're being ridiculous. He just had to leave, let him leave." He still held my wrist tightly. My hand was starting to feel numb.

Clark suddenly appeared and grabbed our wrists. He turned and glared at Glenn. "Let my sister go wherever she wants to unless you're not intending to my approval for this engagement." Clark smiled the most cunning smile I've ever seen.

I took the opportunity to thank Clark and left for the door, without waiting for Glenn to respond. Zen was still walking towards the gates.

"Zen!" He did not stop. He was dragging himself with every step, staring down at the rough road. I ran towards him.

"Zen!" He sped up, changing his focus to the gates.

"Zen Charles! One more step and I'm ignoring you!" He finally stopped but did not turn back.

I caught up with him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him out of the gates. I pushed him against the wall, away from the security cameras.

"Harley, why did you leave the house? I'm fine. My mother messaged me to go back early today." He was smiling but without emotion in them.

"To what? Bathe early? Since when she ever gave you a curfew?"

"Since today."

"You can't lie to me, Zen."

"I'm not-"

My hand moved on its own. It made its mark on his face. It was the first time I ever landed my hand on a person's face.

I don't know what came over me to do that. But he needed to shut up. He needed to know that I love him more than anything. But all he could come out with was just an excuse to escape a situation.

The Zen I knew was not this cowardly. He was protective of me, ever so strong and full of confidence. Just one engagement announcement, it was not even the marriage ceremony and he was already backing out? My tears were starting to blind my vision.

Zen was paralysed in that state for a moment before he started sliding down the wall, his hand pushing away the fringe blocking his eyes. He too was tearing.

"Harley, I'm sorry. I can't take it when I know Glenn is going to be your husband. I was holding back my tears the whole time. Seeing all so happy as a family, I'm not even sure if your parents can be that happy with me around.

I don't have such a big business influence to keep you by my side. I don't have the confidence to persuade your parents to give me, you. I'm only confident that Clark will be supporting me. I already felt like a loser even though you're not married yet."

He cried even harder, with his knees supporting his head. It was the first time I saw Zen cried.