Indecisive

Chapter 21

The dew reflected the warm sunlight that shines on the grasses outside the house. I sat on the balcony of my room, staring into space as I drank my tea.

I lost all my mood since the day Clark's health condition was revealed to me. I couldn't eat and I didn't want to move. This time I'm the only family member left in this house.

I have skipped school for the past few days. Zen and Glenn both showed their concerns but I'm not ready to tell them what had happened now. I can't accept the fact myself.

They came to the house to look for me but they were instructed to go home. I felt especially bad for Zen, who I will tell everything to, but not this time.

When Clark was rushed to the hospital a few days back, I called my parents about it. They were shocked but not as shocked as I assumed they should be.

They visited him in the hospital, spoke to him about the family business and came back home to talk to me about Clark's condition and health background. They already flew back via the private jet, even before Clark was discharged.

I was the only one in the family who didn't know that my brother was suffering from Thalassemia Intermedia. It was a blood condition but it wasn't the major serious one.

My brother inherited it from my father who is a Thalassemia Minor. My dad does not experience anything from Thalassemia but he was the carrier of the illness. I was born without it.

Paleness of the skin was one of the conditions of the illness. Doctor said that Clark lacked rest and fluid, thus the speed of destruction of the red blood cells was faster than normal. He was close to getting a serious case of Anemia.

He was given a blood transfusion and he is still resting in the hospital, barely able to move much. The sight of him in that state weakened me. I dare not go and visit him for the past few days. Can he ever end up dead by this illness? I never asked. I couldn't ask.

I went back to my room and lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I wanted to cry but no tears came out. All the negative thoughts just ran through my mind, it was so hard to stop myself from thinking what if Clark is gone.

Will I be forced to travel around the world with my parents to learn how to take over the company? How am I going to fight for myself without the support from my brother? How? Why? I miss my brother...

Suddenly, a knock came at my door. It opened slightly and my housekeeper's head poked through. "Miss, there is a visitor for-"

He pushed the door wide open, slamming it to the wall, charged in and started shouting at me. "Harley Levin why the hell-"

The moment I saw him, I ran towards him and hugged Zen so hard that all my tears finally fell out. I can feel him stone in shock as I cried, subsequently feeling his arms holding me tight.

"Let it out. Let it out, Harley..." He smoothed my hair and rubbed my back. I cried so hard till the chest area of his shirt was all wet. I heard the door close and Zen lifted me back to my bed. He back-hugged me on the bed like before, when I was in his house.

"I'm so...r...ry... Zen. I...I made y...our shirt ww...et."

He kissed my cheek and climbed over me to face me. "It's okay. What's more important is you." He was caressing my cheek now. "Are you ready to tell me what had happened?"

"My brother has a minor case of Thalassemia that led him to Anemia. He had it since birth and every one of them hid it from me.

I only got to know about it when the condition became serious till he fainted right before my eyes." Zen was now touching my ears.

"My strong and healthy brother was looking so pale and weak. He just had his blood transfusion and from then until now, I dare not visit him in the hospital." And now he pats my head.

"I feel bad for not visiting but I can't face him. It hurts. I can't stop my thoughts from running negatively. You know me, Zen." I held on to the moving hand around my face.

He smiled and embraced me. "We'll visit your brother today. I'll be there with you. Silly girl, why do you have to think that you're alone? Confide in me like you always used to. Okay?"

I nodded and placed my arms around his waist, giving him a hug in return for his presence at the right timing.

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-Nic