Indecisive

Chapter 32

The skies were starting to turn a darker shade of blue. As I thought back about the events that had just occurred, the stress started building up on me.

Zen was going crazy. Somehow, it seemed I was the one making it worse. Glenn had gained the support of both my parents. My parents will be hard to convince.

Tell me what to do...

*****

Everyone was chatting in the living room when I went back into the house. Clark was not interested but he was pretending to enjoy the conversations.

My entrance alerted Glenn and he ran straight towards me and hugged me. I must say, he did look good in whatever he wore.

"I missed you, Harley." He did not let me go.

"Glenn, I was just away for barely 20 minutes. Too tight. Your hug is choking me."

He placed a distance between us. "I'm sorry." I can't believe this was the guy who I kissed in my room. "I did not see you for more than a month since school ended. That was long for me."

"Putting that aside, I got something to ask you. Can we go somewhere else?" He did not reply me. Can I still trust Glenn?

He pulled me towards the rest and explained himself, "I will have some personal talk with Harley in her room. Excuse us." He smiled at them and I did the same. From the way he said it, I really hope they don't get the wrong idea.

I dragged him to the balcony of my room. As usual, he was always so happy. Glenn is a nice guy but I do not know what I did to deserve him. What I always wanted was just a simple and happy love life. Now it's a complicated mess.

We sat on the beach chairs, stretching out our legs. A small rounded table separated as both. "Glenn, tell me the entire story of how this engagement came about."

He was hesitating. As he turned to look at the garden, his smile faded. He should have expected me to ask something like that in the beginning.

"I wanted to tell you the honest truth. But I'm afraid you might hate me for this. Can I lie to you?"

He turned to look at me, waiting for my answer. I was drawn into those blue eyes, I didn't know what to say.

He smiled and continued, "I'll tell you the truth, even if you might hate me."

He faced back to the garden. "I knew you prefer Zen over me. You knew him earlier than me, he had an advantage. When I saw the way you cared for him, I knew I've lost. I wanted to be selfish, I wanted you all for myself. But a forced relationship won't bring happiness to either of us."

Glenn stood up and lean on the railings. "I wanted to give up on you. It was better to see you smile than to get trapped in between options, which brought unnecessary sadness to all. I felt more like a third party than a suitor."

He turned to face me, against the railings. "But not too long ago, I was asked to marry someone I have never met before. It was at the time you did not come to class. I could have gone to find you but I was upset about this. My life just turned into a drama that I've least expected."

I was contemplating if I should trust him. A part of me told me Glenn will not lie to me about this. This was our problem, not just his.

He continued, "Something like this had to happen when I was figuring out if I should forget about you once and for all, keeping our status as just friends. I couldn't take it. As I got stressed about my marriage, I missed you insanely."

I was getting soft-hearted. Glenn smiled to himself while staring in midair.

"As embarrassing as it sounds, I drank every time I thought of you. Till the point where my parents were starting to worry. They tried to remove alcohol from me that one time. But I was crying my heart out then. My mother broke down in front of me and we cried together without knowing why each of us cried." He laughed as he recalled.

"As a family, we sat and talked things out. I told them about you and how badly I missed you. I wasn't in the right mind, forgetting about the relationship you had with Zen. It was then that I knew my initial marriage was just beneficial for my family's business." Glenn was moving close to me as he spoke. He was now sitting beside where my knees are, sharing the same chair, with his feet on the ground.

"I was angry. I did not spoke to my parents for days until I was forced to have another family meeting with them. They had to get the bodyguards to drag me out of my room. They told me they found your family background information and approved my marriage with you. By then, they already spoke to your parents and they agreed, even before telling me."

I felt the tears coming. I could not tell if I was angry or feeling bad for him. I was confused who I need to love and who I should love. Glenn held my hands.

"I had mixed feelings of happiness and guilt. But what was done, was done." He reached for my face and lightly skimmed with his fingers. "I'm sorry for dragging you into an arranged marriage. But I really love you. Too much."

I closed my eyes and my tears fell. I did not know why I cried, I could not figure out what I was feeling.

Glenn wiped the tears for me while smiling. He did not know how I felt and he could still smile. But no words came out of me. How I wish I could scold him.

"I have no idea why you cried. I can't tell but," He moved in and gently placed his lips on mine. His slow kiss brought a small flame lighted up in me. It was calling me for more but Glenn pulled away. "This is what I want you to remember."