Indecisive

Chapter 43

Disappointment came to me as fast as Glenn pushing Wendy away. I was dying to know what happened between them but I had to keep my cool. There was a huge crowd behind them and Wendy was going crazy herself.

I was at a loss of words, just wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. I dragged Zen along, trying to hide away from the drama. I needed to talk to him about the attachment anyway.

"Harley, are you okay?" Zen and I were about to start on our lunch when he decided to break the ice first.

"I'm fine." I smiled at him before facing the fish and chips in front of me. It seemed to be telling me to let my tears out.

Zen took his first bite. "So, what did you wanted to tell me?"

I started hesitating inside, pondering if this is the right time to tell him or not. Then again, it has to be told sooner or later. "I chose to be with Glenn."

Zen did not face me but he stopped chewing. I was waiting for a reaction, something that can make me feel better, other than silence itself. I stared at him looking in mid-air, in his own world. He finally smiled and went back to his food.

"Zen?" His reaction was one of the world's most frustrating feeling. No response and one will tend to overthink. It was torturing.

He looked at me and smiled. "You said you loved me, I trusted your words and I was waiting for you."

Zen looked so satisfied with whatever he was thinking about. I regretted telling him on such a day like this.

"Zen... I wasn't sure before. Even if I had chosen you, this engagement with Glenn will still go on. It is an arranged marriage by our parents as well."

Tears flowed down his cheeks as he kept on chewing. I started to cry as I felt a painful stab in my heart.

"Zen, say something."

"WHY, HARLEY! WHY!"

The entire canteen went quiet, all eyes turned to us. Queues to each stall started dissolving, heads poking out to see what was happening.

Zen ran his hands through his hair and sighed. I continued to look at him speechless. I felt guilty and pain was getting worse.

Glenn appeared suddenly, apologised to Zen, grabbed my hand and dragged me away. I kept my eyes on Zen, watching him in distress. It pained me to just leave him alone but trouble had begun as the reporters found their way in for more photos. I leaned towards Glenn and he hugged me tight as we walked to a room, where the school has kept for us to hide from the reporters.

*****

"What happened back there? Why does the atmosphere feel so heavy?" Glenn asked.

"I told him and he shouted at me. I told him that I loved him before and he waited for me. To him it seemed that I gave him false hope and I can't help not feeling guilty about it. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have given a promise so easily without confirming it myself. I feel so disgusted at myself."

Tears were forming at my eyes, blurring out my view.

"Harley, it is not your fault. Misunderstandings do happen and you have already told him the truth. It is now up to him to accept the fact. You've done your part. Everything will be alright. It just takes some time."

Glenn gave me a tight hug and my tears flowed endlessly.