Once Upon A Time | A Hetalia x Reader

Chapter 32: Understand

OOC and cringe alert! Proceed with caution

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"You shouldn't be talking to them." Ivan clearly stated over the heavy downfall of the rain. Thunder boomed and roared, with the ocassional lightning to blast its way upon the Earth. I simply stared.

"And why's so?"

"You just can't." he replied, looking towards me with a cold look, as if to scare me. I refrained from shrinking back. Intimidation shouldn't scare me. So all I did was stare back with the same look, trying my hardest to exceed the expectations.

His expressions hardened drastically. "I know what you did back in those mines," he said simply, turning back around. "What your friend did amazed me. Just to save your guts. What a loyal one he is, no? He is to pay for his sins of doing an unfair task, with death even, but he's quite lucky that I spared him."

I didn't quite understand what he was trying to imply. "And your point?"

"Aren't you scared?"

"Scared?"

"Of death. You reluctantly accepted his offerings, as if selfishly taking in something you wanted but at the same time, you wanted to consider your options with the remaining time you had left. Aren't you scared of death?"

I immediately shook my head. "Not anymore. If I were to die, I should die saving. It may seem like the ordinary platitude, but that's what I wish for my fate to be."

He then turned towards me with a soft smile. "You're a strong woman. I could see that through your actions."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. You're quite admirable. Especially after you protected those two back there from your friend. As if it were a stranger over friendship kind of way...as if you wanted to befriend those strangers whom had brought you here to this living hell. Don't you think this is a hell that you wish to escape from?"

"Yes." I replied in all honesty. "But why? Why would you create such a torture to these innocent people?"

His childish smile seemed to falter to a hurt look. "I....I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean."

He doesn't know he's torturing these people?

"What are you talking about? Look at them! They're sick. They're tired. They're mourning for their lovers who had died doing your work!"

"They'll....they'll be fine, I know they will."

I tried to stay composed as I continued. It would feel too odd to just speak so freely.

"Why are you doing this?"

He sighed in weariness and sat down, ushering me to sit down next to him. I wanted to refuse, but seeing his face at this very moment, I decided to oblige. All he did was fiddle his thumbs in steadiness, looking deep in thought and concentration.

"No one understands me." He began, his voice cracking. I started to feel dread as he spoke, his voice easily carrying desperation to...something. A yearning for something. "No one understands what I'm looking forward to doing. I want to help people, but they just run away. Whenever they do these things, I feel like I should be locked up in a box of insecurities and fear of never having friends."

"I'll be your friend," I offered immediately; out of habit, even.

"You didn't think that through. Based on what I've seen before, I bet that you've never considered your options, no? You...I don't think it would be worth being my friend. I'm sure that in your perspective, I'm some mean, cold-hearted bully who tortures people for the fun of it. But I can't help it! It's as if I'm unaware of the difference between what's right and what's wrong."

"Have you ever considered being a bit more friendly to your peers?"

"Yes. But after a while I had realized that they were suspicious of my plans and pushed me away."

"Why are you even killing innocent people?"

"As much as I don't want to...I believed to think that was what they deserved. Even until now I still question what to do, and what not to do. It's...a very complicated life." he avoided my gaze. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. But I sensed a relativity as soon as you chose to act the way you wanted to back there."

I internally winced at the memory of my selfishness.

"You know...I myself have come to slowly realize that I had been selfish, too, these years. I had planned to rebuild the weaker borders for my enemy in order to create a truce. We had...been very rebellious nations towards each other. My expectation may have been cruel and rough towards my peers, but of course my plans had to be made through sacrifice."

So he didn't want to destroy the borders....

"Is...this what you really planned?"

He wanted to help others....

He nodded with a simple, genuine-looking smile. "Yes. It's quite sad, really. No one deemed the opportunity to participate, so I had forced myself to invite them unwillingly. If it comes to finding the real reason why I had done so, I'm sure you would have possibly understood part of my story, but...relating certain things with others doesn't always mean you can have a strong bond between them, so it wouldn't particularly matter to you."

"I'm sure I would cherish your reasoning."

He ruffled my hair, chuckling lightly. "Right. Thank you."

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"Never judge a book by its cover."

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Writing this chapter was really difficult, honestly. I'm sorry if it sounds weird, I wrote this chapter individually and I'm so proud, but at the same time discouraged because it might not make sense and sounds rushed (but in reality I had to retry, like, three times or so lol).

- Yukina