Li'l Sparky // [Daryl Dixon]

Victory at the Expense of the Innocent Is No Victory At All

Season: Three

Episode(s): This Sorrowful Life 

I walked through cell block D, hoping to find some ammo. I heard footsteps and the tearing of mattresses. As I ducked into a cell, Rick and Merle's voices appeared. 

"Just lookin' for a little vacation," Merle said. Oh, for Christ's sake, was he looking for drugs in beds again? "Best dope I ever had was in a mattress. Nothin'. This place must've been no fun at all."

"We need your help," Rick said. Now, I was surprised. 

Apparently, Merle thought the same thing. He started laughing. 

"Do you even know why you do the things you do?" Rick asked in disgust. "The choices you make?" There was a brief silence. 

"If we give the Governor Michonne, Woodbury stands down," Rick blurted out. Wait, that was the terms him and the Governor came to? Giving up Michonne? I would consider that katana-wielding badass my friend! 

"I don't like it but it's what needs to be done," Rick continued. "We need to make it quiet. We need your help with that."

"You ain't told any of the others, huh?" Merle asked.

"Just Hershel, Daryl, and you," Rick answered. Wait, my dad knew about this? Daryl did, too? Since when did I become irrelevant? 

"Huh," Merle sounded genuinely interested. "The inner circle. I'm honored. You know, when we'd go out on runs, he'd bash somebody's skull, slash somebody's throat, and he'd say 'Never waste a bullet'. I always thought it was just an excuse. You go on. Give him that girl. He ain't gonna kill her, you know. He's just gonna do things  to her." 

My heart was officially beating out of my chest. 

"Probably take out one of her eyes," Merle continued. "Both of 'em, most likely. You'd let that happen for a shot?" Rick said nothing. 

"Whew," Merle said. "You're cold as ice, Officer Friendly. You're gonna need wire, not rope. Wire. Nothin' she could chew through. Oh. You know somethin'? You're wrong. I know why I do the things I do. I always have." 

There was another brief silence. 

"It's for Ryan," he said finally. "She's the one thing in the world that's keepin' me goin'. You wanna know why I do the things I do? I want to protect her. Because I love her." 

Boom. My heart stopped. I was not aware of how to approach the situation. 

Merle Dixon, the seemingly heartless drug addict loved me?  

"But I know you, Rick," Merle said. "Yeah, I thought a lot about you. You ain't got the spine for it."

"We need to get her to the Governor by noon," Rick ordered. He walked away. 

Okay, what just happened?

---

Merle, Carol, and I were in the common room, watching as the rest of the group set up some reinforcements. 

"Ain't no way," Merle muttered. 

"What?" Carol asked impatiently. 

"Nothin'," Merle answered quickly. 

"What happened here?" she asked as she put Judith in her crib. 

"We got any whiskey?" Merle asked. I rolled my eyes. "Hell, I'd even drink vodka." 

"Go to hell, Merle," Carol snapped. He snickered. Carol sat down and started packaging bullets. 

"Are you with us?" she asked suddenly.