Reflecting their own light: Rory and Logan

Chapter 17

I heard the door to our suite open.  Logan must be back.  I still couldn't wrap my head around why he couldn't just approach me instead of following me.  I tried to move on, but no one ever seemed to fit.  I guess I was fairly content with my slightly vagabond existence.  I guess it filled the void to a certain extent, but it was never quite enough.  And there were always trips to London that I looked forward to after Hamburg.  I never wanted him out of my life, but I had to make my own way.

"Rory?" Logan called from the next room.

He entered the bedroom, where I was curled up under the covers.  I had changed out of my lucky outfit and into my pajamas.  I couldn't stand to be in it any longer after hearing what Logan said.

"Rory, please let me explain," he said, softly.

"Explain what, Logan?  That you practically stalked me instead of just contacting me?"

"When you put it like that.....well....it doesn't sound good.  I wasn't looking at it from your point of view.  I was trying to keep things on the down-low from my family.  I had certain people, loyal to only me, helping me out.  Rory, it's always been you.  The day you turned down my proposal and I walked away was the worst day of my life.  I tried to date other women, but it was so empty and meaningless.  I threw myself into my work," he said.

"Logan....I....I'm sorry.  I didn't want you to go away that day.  I needed to make my own way before we settled down.  I never wanted to let you go.  I get what you are saying.  I know your family has always had a plan for you and I'm 99.99% sure it didn't include me.  No one else has ever fit quite like you do," I paused.  "I just wish you had told me before instead of waiting.  I'm sorry I overreacted," I replied.

"I love you, Ace, and I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"I know," I said through tears.  "I love you, too, Logan, and I'm sorry I'm so hormonal!  I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster ride!"

Logan sat on the bed near me, holding out his arms to embrace me.  I move over to him and let him wrap his arms around me.  I couldn't believe I was so worked up.  It really wasn't that big of a deal, was it?  He was right.  I blew this out of proportion.  It was actually sweet, just like Logan has always been.  He's never expected anything in return from me and has given me everything.  I feel myself relaxing against his chest.  And he loves me despite my irrationality.

"Give me a few minutes to change and we can watch a movie tonight, ok?"

Logan changed into a t-shirt and some flannel pants.  He climbed back into bed next to me.  He turned on the television and started flipping through the channels.  Nothing was catching my eye.  I made a disgusting face with every disappointing channel change.  Logan made a similar face.

"There's nothing on any of these channels.  I've got an idea," Logan said as he went to the other room.  He returned with his computer.  He sat next to me and booted up the laptop.  He pulled up Netflix and connected to the TV.  Across the Universe began to play.

"Is this better?" he asked.

"Yes, much."

As we watched, I was reminded of that spectacular night in Stars Hollow.  I couldn't believe Logan and the guys had arranged so many things just to make me happy.  They were really the best guy friends a girl could ask for and I love Logan more than I ever thought I could.  I always have and always will.  He's amazing and wonderful and loving and perfect.  I let him wrap me in his arms and cuddled close, putting an arm across his chest.  I felt him kiss my forehead.

I woke up the next morning in Logan's embrace.  I was amazing at how well I slept.  I slipped out of bed and into the soft robe and slippers.  I called down for room service.  I ordered a lot of food.  It felt like the whole menu, but I know there were a few things I omitted.  I had to do something to show that I do still care.  I've always cared.  I don't know why I've felt so crazy lately.  Anything and everything sets me into a crazy tailspin.

Watching the movie last night brought back too many memories.  Both of us too scared to admit how we really felt.  Logan wanted to keep me in his life so badly that he gave me a house in Maine.  Although, it was meant as a work place for me, it also kept me in this life.  He wanted to make sure I was taken care of.  I was just as much at fault.  I couldn't tell him my true feelings because of that stupid Vegas deal I suggested.  It was idiotic.  There's no way we could ever have a no strings attached agreement.  Neither of us was over our first break-up.  Our feelings ran deep.  I so desperately wanted him to say something that night, say he was leaving Odette because he only loved me and to hell with the dynastic plan!  I hadn't thought that maybe he wanted me to tell him not to marry Odette, like he wanted me to tell him to stay when he had to leave for London after his graduation.

I guess this is the journey we needed to take to be together.  I think of how long Mom and Luke took to get married.  He pined for my mom for years before finally asking her out.  I didn't even hear the knocking on the door when Logan came into the room.

"Ground control to Major Tom!" he said jokingly.

I had been sitting in front of the fireplace deep in thought.  His voice jerked me to reality.  I heard the knocks on the door.  I got up to answer but he beat me to it.  I was a little confused as to who would be at our door this early.  Then I remembered I had ordered room service.  Logan opened the door to let them in with the trays.

"Is there anything left for the other people to eat?" he said, smiling.

"I guess maybe I was a little hungry this morning and I thought you would be too," I replied.  "Logan, I'm really sorry about last night.  I overreacted.  There's just been so much on my mind lately and I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I can't get off."

"Ace, it's ok.  Your hormones are running amok with the pregnancy," he replied.  "I'm still here for you, just like before!"

"I know.  I'm just not used to being with you yet," I said.  "Now, let's eat!"