Reflecting their own light: Rory and Logan

Chapter 0.5 (Preface)

Author's note:  The half chapters will be from Logan's POV and will coincide with Rory's POV chapters. 

I kept replaying her words in my mind, "Every ride has to end."

I should have told her that this ride didn't have to end.  I didn't want it to end...ever.  She was the one I wanted to be with, spend my life with.  Why did I let her do this?  She, somehow, found the strength to say goodbye to me because I didn't have the balls to stand up to Mitchum Huntzberger.  Maybe I wanted her to fight for us, like she did so many years ago, and I didn't know what to do when she didn't.  Dammit, why didn't I fight for her?  Why did I let her leave?  I shouldn't have let her leave!  I shouldn't have gotten on that plane to go back to London that day!

I couldn't believe I had blown my chance to finally be with her.  Why hadn't I broken up with Odette before I went to Stars Hollow?  Was she somehow my safety net?  My back-up plan?  How had my life come to this?  When did I become such a wuss?  I folded like a cheap suit to my father's demands.  He controlled my life. 

After I returned to London, I dragged myself back to work and the life I wanted so desperately to leave.  I had become somewhat of an expert on compartmentalizing my life.  I had my Vegas life with Rory, and my other life, the one where I went through the motions.  I didn't want to become my father.

Don't get me wrong, Odette was a beautiful and intelligent woman.  I thought that, with time, I'd grow to love her.  I didn't, and I couldn't create something that simply wasn't there.  At first, Odette didn't even know about Rory, but eventually became suspicious when she ran across some of her things tucked away in my closet a few months ago.  I couldn't let go of them.

"These are not my things!  Who do they belong to?" Odette demanded.

I couldn't think of an explanation, or excuse.  I thought I'd try a new approach and tell the truth.  Well, enough of the truth to appease her.  "An old friend crashes here when she's in town.  She's in London on business frequently, so she left a few things here."

"Oh, she does?"

"Yes, she does.  Is there a problem?"  I retorted defensively.

"Is she the same one who calls you all hours of the day?"

She's never called me out like this before.  I wonder if she's been talking to Mitchum.  He'd seen Rory and me together on one of her trips, shortly before Odette moved in.  I'm sure that was also Dad's idea.  It's probably my fault we were spotted in the first place, but I wanted him to see us.  To know he couldn't completely control me.

"I get a lot of phone calls, at all hours depending on the client's time zone," I said, trying to deflect to work.

"No, the caller who leaves you smiling, and not the same way you smile at me.  The smile where your eyes dance and crinkle in the corners," she replied, quietly.  She didn't say another word and walked out of the room.

My cover had been blown.  I couldn't keep doing this to her.  She didn't deserve to be treated this way.

Then, it happened.  I got the biggest wake-up call of my life.  Honor called me late one evening to tell me Dad had been taken to the hospital with chest pains.  He collapsed at work, clutching his chest.  Someone called for an ambulance.  Mom never handles anything stressful, so she checked herself into some spa.  I was in disbelief that she'd run away when her husband nearly died, but it didn't surprise me.  I'm not sure their marriage ever had any love, and I know it had none now.  I was brought back to the time Ace's grandfather, Richard, had a heart attack.  All of the Gilmore girls were by his side as soon as possible.  Maybe my father wouldn't have been so damn hard on everyone if he'd had what Richard and Emily had in a relationship.  I longed for that kind of love and happiness.  There was only one person who could do that...Rory, my Ace.