Torn (harry styles)

12- Different good.

"I had nowhere else to sit.." I shrugged shyly and glued my eyes to the table. I could feel Zayn, Louis and Niall's eyes on me as well as Harry's intimidating glare.
"Don't you have your own friends?" He asked bluntly. Ouch. My insides tensed up and my heart sank at the hurtful comment he had just thrown at me. The empty feeling in my chest got more hollow and my eyes stang but I blinked back the tears.
"I...I don't know.." I said really quietly. My mind fogged over with hurt and I didn't know what to say, it's a long story.

Thankfully, Harry said nothing and sat down heavily in his chair. I gulped and looked behind me and at the ceiling. Anywhere but him.
"So what's everyone got next?" Louis piped up, breaking the awkwardness.
"History." I answered, great. That's annoying.
The other boys all answered and looked at Harry.
"I think I'm just gonna skip class today and go home.." He said. My heart lurched again as his eyes met mine. His expression remained blank and his eyebrows burrowed together very slightly. I looked down.

Lunch was finally dismissed and I made my way into history.

The rest of the day flew by, Harry did not show up for history as promised. Part of me was disappointed but I can't help but remember his hurtful words from lunch and my heart throbbed again.

When I got home I just spoke to my mum for a bit and went to bed.

The next day I felt blank and bland again, like part of me had been torn out. It's not that it surprised me that he was mean but it still hurt. Unbelievably hurt. More than it would if anyone else had said it.

He didn't show for history again, he's clearly trying to avoid me. Does he really hate me that much? I don't see what I've done wrong. I made friends with his friends, okay maybe that might be annoying for him to see me sat with them... But it's no reason for him to get this angry. I mean, I had a good reason. It was either with them or sit alone.

The rest of the week flew by, getting up in the morning was always a struggle. But I knew I didn't have history so there was little chance I would see Harry. I had spent my lunch and break in the toilets. In a cubicle. I know it's so pathetic and sad and embarrassing but I've just never felt so alone. I didn't want to see anyone either. I'm a mess.

I got home on Friday and walked into my room, I flicked through my phone and a message from Niall popped up.

*Haven't seen u in a while, u still comin tonight??? *

Shit, the party. I completely forgot. I don't want to go..but at the same time, I do. I really do. I can hang with Niall, I don't fucking care what Harry thinks anymore. I can't be assed with his bullshit right now. It's not his choice who I'm friends with..he's not even my friend anyway so what have I got to loose? I also should go and try to patch things up with Evie, I need to know what I've done wrong. Me and Evie never argue, there must have been a misunderstanding.

*yesss if that's still good with you?* I replied.

*yh, see u at 9! Do u need the address again?* Niall replied within 2 minutes.

I scrolled up my messages with him and saw the first one with the address and time was still there.

*nope it's cool, see ya later Niall x*

*:) if u can, bring some drink. I've got loads already so u don't have to x*

I decide I will bring some alcohol along, it would feel rude not too. I do plan on getting drunk, maybe it will wash some of my pain away? And when I'm sober, things just seem awkward. It's so annoying being the only sober person around when everyone's drunk. It makes me cringe.

*i'll bring some, byee x*

It was only 3pm so I have 6 hours until I have to be there. I decide to set my alarm for 2 hours later. So I can get two hours sleep. I close my curtains, and turn off my light and climb into bed.