Torn (harry styles)

53- Risk Taker

Him? I don't need saving from him. It's not being with him that I need saving from.

If he wanted to save me then he should be holding me close and telling me he will never let me go. Now that would be saving me.

Saving me from that excruciating twisting pain inside my chest, that heart breaking soreness, that screaming inside my head that's slowly driving me insane.

I must be insane, insane to think he doesn't mean what he said. He can't mean it, it would hurt a whole lot more if I believed that he did. But he just isn't convincing enough.

"I don't need saving from you." I murmur, his eyes soften and he looks confused.

"If you go there with me then you're only going to get hurt." He shakes his head and licks his lips again, biting down on his bottom lip and running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm willing to try, you can't expect me to just forget about you. Without any understanding of why you weren't willing to even give it a go?" I try to explain, I sound clingy and desperate but I just don't want to loose Harry. He's special to me and I've never met anyone like him.

"I already told you why I have to be like this. I'm trying to make it easier for you to forget about me and move on." He speaks calmly and I don't say a word. I think what he said to me hurt more than if he didn't say it, quite frankly.

"Please don't ruin your life, it's precious and I will damage it." He groans, holding his lip between his finger and thumb. He's looking for words that will make me understand but I just don't.

"I don't care about any of that Harry. We will face that when it comes to it, just stop doubting yourself. You make me happy mostly." I tell him.

He's the only one that can silence my demons. The ones babbling on in my head at every minute, telling me I'm not good enough.

"Like I said before; I'm only trying to save you." He sighs.

"But... you already have." I say. I didn't even need to think about it, the words just flowed out and they make so much sense to me now.

Harry's dimly lit face twists with confusion and his brows furrow together.

"I saved you?" He puzzles.

"Yes, you have made me live for the first time. You took me away from my normal boring self and made me feel like someone new. I'm myself when I'm with you and I feel alive. I'm no one when I'm not with you, my thoughts eat me alive and I find myself drowning. So don't try to tell me that you saving me would be staying out of my life, because I already know that you saved me right from when I first met you. I may not have known it at the time but you did." I finish my short speech and take a huge deep breath in, feeling like a huge weight has been let off my chest.

He looks shocked. I can only just see his wide eyes and slightly parted lips under this darkness but he is definitely surprised.

"You're serious? I'm a destructive person Skye, if you take the chance with me you will only get hurt. That's what I do, I hurt people." He rolls his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair.

"You won't hurt me." I shut my eyes and shake my head.

"Please just stop worrying about how I feel and more about what you want, what do you want?" I ask, opening my eyes and looking straight into his.

A frustrated expression crosses his sad eyes and he frowns.

"If I tell you, it will make everything so much harder for both of us. For now, just assume that I hate you and want nothing to do with you. Eventually, you will believe it."

If he wants to be with me why can't he just be with me? Why does everything have to be so difficult?

"But what if that's not what's best for us? What if this isn't how it's supposed to be? How do you know that your making the right decision?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I just don't know. But I know myself, and I also know that everything I touch gets broken. And I don't want the same to happen to you, so it's safer to just stay away from me. For your own sake." He turns away from me and stares blankly down the deserted empty street.

I slowly caress my index finger along his carving.

I'm sorry, H.

I wish he would say those words to me now. Apologise for everything he has just said and kiss me.

I miss his kiss, I miss the way his hot soft wet lips felt against mine. The way his skin set mine on fire with every touch.

The way that small gesture of affection numbed my mind, erased any distracting, mind aching thoughts and made me live only in that moment.

I could do with his kiss right now, that sounds crazy but it's the only thing that would calm my raging mind and nerves.

It would kill this hurricane of mess inside my head and relax my fiery tendons.

"Then I guess I'm going to have to take the risk." I whisper, reaching out one of my hands and placing it at the back of his neck. The other hand in my lap.

His eyes flutter closed for a second under my touch but then his eyes meet mine and his tongue quickly wets his lips.

This is happening.

My heart races, flowing through my now open veins.

I can practically hear my heart beating in my ears.

I slowly and gently pull Harry's head to meet mine.

Then his lips softly graze against mine, igniting my feelings into a frenzy.

He makes the final movement which connects our lips together.

At first his smooth lips press gently against mine, but as he adds a tiny but more pressure I begin to work my lips against his.

All my senses blur, this moment feels like the only moment I've ever experienced.

Nothing else matters, nothing but him. everything about him.

His wet mouth tastes faintly of gum., the familiar feeling excites me and encourages me to slide my hand up into his hair and tug it gently.

Butterflies are crazily flapping around inside me and I'm probably blushing.

His kiss is like no one else, with him there is no one else. No one that comes anywhere close to him. He is all that matters and I just wish he would see that like I do.

This kiss is the only way I can really show how I feel, how much I want him.

I bring my other hand to his shoulder and push harder into the kiss.

Granting his tongue access to my mouth and mine to his.

The wet slippery creature delicately caresses the edge of mine and they both gently weave around each other.

It feels like sparks are flying and fire works are blowing, this moment is so perfect.

I wish I could pause time right here, right now. Kissing Harry on our bench, cross legged opposite each other. My fingers tangled in his smooth curly locks and his large warm hands at the top of my thighs.

I smile into the kiss, a bubbly happy feeling exploding and raining inside me. I can't even fight it anymore.

I have well and truly fallen for Harry Styles.

-------------------------------------

What do you all think?

Thank you for 3.6k reads, means so much to me! Thanks for all the messages to, please don't be invisible readers. feel free to message me or comment,giving me feedback and ideas!

#skarrytorn

Wooo, I might double update tonight? Would that make you guys happy? I'll see if i can finish the next chapter but don't raise your hopes too high because it might have to wait until tomorrow!

:) love you guys <3