Torn (harry styles)

71- Solution

Skye's P.O.V

My whole world feels like a whirlpool of confusion and pain. Every bone in my body aches with this new feeling, this internal burn that won't go away no matter how much I try to push it out.

I had spent this last day surrounding myself in all things good and happy, building up this wall of joy with the bubbly feeling I felt from being told that he loved me and being held in his arms once again.

But that's all come crashing down now, and it hurts just as much as I would have guessed.

As much as I wish I could have had the strength and will power to turn him down, to be that idealistic strong female that's in charge of her life; that's just not me.

I'm too in love with him, too obsessed and overpowered by the thrill his presence brings to me that I didn't even realise how much he was wearing me down and demolishing every last ounce of my backbone, the stability of our characters which pushes us forward in life when we know something isn't right. I just don't have that.

So here I am, sitting at the table which just 10 minutes ago I was sitting at. Only then I was feeling gleeful and intoxicated by my love for him that bliss and joy filled my whole body.

Now, I'm mentally and physically exhausted. The constant battle inside me between my love for Harry and my hate for him is driving me crazy.

My mind is so fogged by my feelings for him that right now I actually just want him to hold my close to him and comfort me until my aching limbs simmer down.

Harry brings me over a cup of the herbal tea I had last night and one for himself, he takes the seat opposite me and sips his tea awkwardly.

"Harry I want to know where I stand." I say blankly, I want him to tell me what he wants from me.

I take a sip of the hot fruity substance, it doesn't sooth the burning pain in my muscles but it warms the stiff icy sensation in the pit of my stomach.

Harry sighs, running his fingers through his hair and placing his cup on the table.

"I just.. It's so hard to go from being that guy, that arsehole player to being someone completely different. I understand that's frustrating for you but I just need you to cut me some slack. It's not easy for me either." He says, looking me dead in the eye but I try and avoid eye contact with him. If I want to make an honest input in this debate and contribute to the resolution of the situation, I can't let myself be brainwashed by his piercing emerald stare.

"Cut you some slack? You say it like I'm nagging you and stopping you from doing things that you want to do. Harry all I wanted was for us to be able to have a nice time without you shoving me away straight after. I'm sick of it." I say quietly, bit by bit my chest gets lighter.

It feels good to be standing up for myself and telling him what I've longed to tell him for such a long time.

"I'm so sorry about that, honestly. I know it's fucked up and no one should go through that. Especially not someone as good as you Skye. I just sometimes feel like your making the wrong decision by spending time with me, I don't want to pull you into my shitty world and make you miserable." He says and I'm lost for words. I feel like the ability to string sentences together has been robbed from me.

"I just sometimes feel that someone like you deserves way better than someone like me. So I say those horrible things to make it easier for you to hate me." He says, shaking his head. "Only to later realise that I actually need you in my life." he smiles as he says the last bit.

My heart jolts, I don't know what to say. I take another sip of my tea and sigh.

"Please stop doing that, if I thought I shouldn't be with you then I wouldn't. I don't need you making that decision for me or encouraging me to hate you when it's clear that I don't want to hate you. Just go with your instincts about how you feel, and let me deal with my own feelings and the road I choose to take." I breath, this feeling better than anything.

Harry nods and licks his lips.

"Do you think I'm good enough for you though?"

My breath gets sucked out of my lungs as he says these words, I wish he had more faith in himself.

"Yeah." I smile at him widely.

He gives me a small smile and looks down, tracing his finger around the outer rim of his cup.

"Let me take you out tonight, I'll prove to you that we can have a good time together and I won't push you out after."

Although his suggestion sounds more like an order, I still feel the butterflies fluttering inside me and the heat returns to my cheeks.

"Okay." I say quietly, fighting a smile.

"Okay." he breathes awkwardly, showing me his perfect smile.

-----------------------------------------

Shortest update ever I know;) don't worry there will be another.

Thanks for the reads everyone, love you all. Help me reach 7k:)