Torn (harry styles)

52- Promises

I hold my breath. Wishing nothing other than to be at home right now.

"Maybe? I don't date Skye. Never have. I thought you knew that." He speaks and my heart aches.

I nod and look down at my fidgeting hands.

"Fuck, you've seriously been wasting your time thinking about me? About us? There is no us, we will never happen. I don't even like you." He spits and my heart cracks and shatters.

"Okay." I breath out. He shakes his head.

"It's not though. Do you understand me? I don't want you to speak to me anymore. Don't come near me. I mean it this time."

I just want him to stop talking. I shouldn't have come here today, I thought he was different. I thought maybe he liked me.

Why am I such an idiot? Of course he didn't like me, he's Harry.

"I won't." I say quietly.

Don't cry, please don't cry. Be strong Skye, he's just a boy. Please don't cry.

I take deep breaths and close my eyes, I don't want him to say anything else. He's said enough.

"You will though! You always do. And I'm telling you now, I find you really fucking annoying and I hate being with you. I hate talking to you and I was lying when I said you were interesting. I only said that to erm... to try and have sex with you." His cold words fly into my face like sand in the wind. Stinging me.

"Yeah, I only hung out with you to get back at Dexter for bullying me." He smirks.

His eyes, I know I can barely see them but his eyes are telling a different story. He looks pained, sad and lost.

"I won't talk to you anymore okay? Please stop saying all these things." I sniffle and the first tear slips from my eye and I quickly wipe it away.

"No no no! Don't cry please! You don't need to cry, you need to hate me! Don't let me upset you, you don't like me okay? You never have. I'm a dick and you have much more going for you." He rushes, his voice quick and frantic.

More tears escape my resisting eyes, I'm so stupid, that I even thought for one minute that me and Harry could ever go anywhere.

"But.. I can't." I sigh with defeat. "I can't hate you."

I may as well just tell him, I know I've got more meanness coming for me.

But it's not like I have anyone to talk to about this stuff, no one would understand. No one would understand how I fell for him or why I care that I can't be with him.

The only person who I can tell how I feel to, is him. he's the only one, the only one I thought I had.

"I hate you. I don't want you to like me, it's fucking weird." He frowns and my chest closes.

I have that feeling again, like I just want to scream out loud.

I want to slap myself in the face.

I want to disappear, and never come back.

Why is this happening? Why me? I'm not a bad person, why do I have such a shit life?

Why can't everything just be good for me? Why does everything seem to be fake and flimsy, my friends, my boyfriends, my... Harry.

"I get it, please stop." I cover my eyes with my hands and my breathing quickens.

"No, you need to promise me something."

"Anything." I sniffle. As long as he stops, I will promise him anything. I really like him and I didn't think this could hurt this bad.