Torn (harry styles)

60- Friday

As I walk home, the dark roads seem longer and the atmosphere feels more dangerous.

What was I thinking? Coming out here all alone, I must be mad.

I have decided that I am mad, absolutely crazy. I must be, that's the only explanation I can think of that slightly excuses me for falling in love with a player who is mean to me and doesn't love me back.

Her, why her?

She puts out, does that mean I need to put out for him to notice me?

Do I need to dye my hair and wear loads of make up?

Do I need to act like a complete slut?

Do I need to wear more revealing clothes?

What is it? What do I need to do to get him?

I was so blinded by my love to realise the extend of how scary these roads are.

When I finally arrive home, I quietly slip into my room and bury myself under my duvet, shutting out the outside world and isolating myself from any other living thing.

I will go back to college next week, there's only 2 days left of this week so there isn't much point in me going back tomorrow. Not that I want to, I really don't.

I'm not ready to face him, I can't believe the sight I witnessed and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

I loved him. it doesn't seem possible, and certainly doesn't seem normal.

In a crazy, fucked up way I really did love him.

Love is a strong word, but I know that I mean it. It's no crush. if it was just a crush, the sight of him and another girl wouldn't make my world stop turning.

I finally fall asleep. finally.

The few days I don't contact anyone, I was hoping to hear from Harry but I didn't.

'Don't say I didn't warn you.'

His previous words run through my head all of the 4 days.

He did warn me, I didn't think it meant he would actually hurt my feelings this bad.

He told me he was a destructive person, I didn't think he meant in this way.

*im coming over x* Evie texts me, okay?

*erm sure haha.x* I send.

That's weird, I never really talk to her anymore.

The door knocks 10 minutes later and I quickly answer it.

"Skye!" She squeals.

It's 6pm and a sunday, as much as I love her- why is she here?

"Evie." I smile.

"How've you been? I haven't seen you in forever." She giggles and leads me through to the kitchen where we sit and catch up.

I tell her about Dexter with only two tears falling from my eyes. I don't tell her about Harry not even now that she has just brought him up.

"You know harry?" She asks.

Oh I know harry.

"Styles? Yeah. Not well but I know who you're talking about." I Shrug nonchalantly. if only she knew.

I love him.

"I really quite like him." She giggles and her cheeks heat.

I knew she liked him, but she likes everyone. It changes like every week.