Just cuts.. ✔️

9 | Opening up..

I'm really doing this. I'm going to open up. Can I do this?

I started panicking and getting all sweaty. I don't know if I can do this. My whole life. My pain. All not be a secret anymore.

"Oh... it's ok if you don't want to say. I totally get it." He apologised.

"No it's fine. I think it's time I actually tell someone." I looked at my hands as I started playing with them.
"Promise me! That you wouldn't tell a soul! Not one person!"

"I swear I wouldn't tell anyone. Trust me." He took my hands and put them in his.

"Well.... where do I start?" I realised I didn't know how to word this.
"My father. He died when I was about 8... we were really close so it effect me loads. And well since that day i kinda developed depression.... ruining my life." I could feel tears trying to escape but I wanted to stay strong. I didn't want to cry now. "And well my mum. She just drinks her problems away. I think she doesn't even know I exist anymore. She remarried a couple years after and well he's an alcoholic..... he ummm gives me abuse even since I've know him. The amount of times I've hide in my room scared to leave just increase he hurts me agai-" I broke down remembering all the terrible memories.

"Aw your ok! He's not here." Ed enveloped me into a big tight hug. "No no! Please don't cry." I couldn't hide it. My head couldn't take it. Everything was spinning around causing me to break. Memories when I was 10 rushed into my bed.

'I was hiding in the corner of my bedroom hugging my giant teddy bear. I could mummy and Jim fighting. They never got on like mummy and daddy did. They were always the happiest couple ever. But daddy died. He left us. Now Jim is here. He causes me the cuts all over my body. He hits me everyday, he says it makes him happy seeing other people in pain. I don't get it? It hurts me... I don't like it!....I miss daddy.
       "PENNYY!" I heard Jim shouted up the stairs. I ran towards the door and held it as I cried my eye balls out. I didn't want to get hurt anymore. I wanted my mummy back! My happy mummy! "Penny!!!" Heavy foot steps came running upstairs. The door swung open as I wasn't strong enough to hold it open. "Come here you brat!" He grabbed my ear as he dragged me downstairs.
"You want this!?!" He shoved me towards my mum.

"She's still my daughter Jim!" I looked up wide eye! She called me her daughter! I haven't heard her say that in years. She wasn't drunk. She was my mum I recognise.

"We don't need her! Start our own family! We'll dump her at a care home!" Jim shouted at mummy.

"JIM NOO!" She stuck up for herself.

"Fine whatever!" He pushed me to the ground as he gave me one last kicked and walked away.'

That was the last time my mum cared about me and my feelings. Now Jim just has her under his power.

I calmed myself down as I hide my face into Ed's chest. I felt safe in his arms like no one could hurt me. His right grip around me as I cried into his chest.

"You ok? I'm not letting you go back to them ok!? Your staying here with me! I can't let you get hurt." He lifted he head up to look at him.

"Thank you ed. I've never felted safe before but with you.. I do." I smiled.

"That's good." He's eyes sparkled.
"You know why I wanted to stay? Well another reason that I haven't said yet."

"Wha-t." I managed to say.

"I knew there was something wrong. I knew you were going through things. And well I wanted to help but I wanted to tell me and trust me instead of me just questioning everything."

"Really? You'll do that for a person you just met?" I asked kinda shocked that someone wanted to help.

"Craig..." I said under my breath.

"What?" Ed's face turned confused.

"This guy. He heard me talking to.... my dad.... about things and well he wanted to help but I pushed him away. I didn't want to let him in. I was scared. But with you I just felt like you could understand." I said as I got out of his tight grip and lay down on the sofa looking up at the tall ceiling.

"Well. If he wanted to help maybe you should. I guess he was just trying to be nice. Maybe he was worried? I know how he feels. But it's ok if your scared. Everyone gets like that somethings." He smiled.

"Thanks a lot. Your made me feel a lot better." I jumped up and attacked him with a hug.

"No problem plopers." He laughed

"Plopers? Really?" I looked at him widen eyed.

"Yea! You like it?"

"Totally...." I said sarcastically.

I lay my head on Ed's knee as he looked down at me. "Might as well get comfortable." I laughed.

"Night." He smiled as he grabbed a blanket and put it over me.

"Night Edward." I smirked.

"Ed's fine thanks"

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Wow what is this? A chapter just the day next after the other one!? Wow!
Well this chapter is like the other one. Thanks for reading

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