Just cuts.. ✔️

36 | Understanding

I was a short distance away from Craig. He was standing there staring off into the distance waiting for me. I'm not going to lie I was a bit nervous to talk to him. I haven't seen him since we had our little disagreement.  I don't know how he felt about it or if we both even thought about what we were saying. I wonder if Craig did ever ask Amy what me and her history was?

As I walked towards him I guess he heard me as he turned around and made eye contact with me. It felt weird? I don't know how to describe this feeling. We both didn't dare to break the eye contact. The sun was now starting to set leaving a breeze in the air. No one wanted to break the silence that was floating around us. It was Craig who wanted to meet. Did Amy lie and now he's going to shout at me?

"Hey." Craig broke the silence.

"Hi." I quietly replied. I froze as I realised my voice sounded very like the zone I used in school when I wouldn't talk to anyone and was just a mess. I guess my old self will always be here.

"Here let's sit down." Craig gestured me to sit down beside him on the grass by the water. I awkwardly sat beside him trying to avoid any more eye contact with him.
"I went to talk to Amy after we umm."

"Shouted at each other, yea." I half laughed.

"Yea that and well she started saying stuff about you and her being friends and that that one day you threaten her and bullied her until all her friends turned against her?" I finally looked up at him with a shock expression. Was he actually believing this shit?

"C-Craig." My voice cracked along with Craig noticing it too.

"No no." He interrupted me, I stared at him confused. "Sorry that sounded like I was blaming you! I'm not. I've known you for longer than Amy and if I'm being honest you told me you had been bullied and I know for definite that you wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose."  I didn't know how to response to this so I just stared at him. "And also to add to that I'm so so sorry for all the stuff that I said. I was just mad and said stuff I did-"

"Stuff you didn't mean yea yea." I said a bit annoyed. "We all know you meant at least some of it. We all that I'm annoying with all my depression and stuff."

"No you are not."

"Stop lying. I know you all try to help and I love that but I guess it's my job to get through this not yours." I said as memories of them trying to help but yet failing came to my head. "I appreciate everything you have done for me." I said seriously.

"Yea and I'll always be there for you because I care so much about you. I should have listened to you at the start. I broke up with Amy because the minute she told me her story I knew she was lying."

"It's good you can see when someone's lying and when someone's telling the truth."

I looked him in the eyes and I could see the guilt filling his eyes. I knew how he felt about me being depressed. He hated it. I did too. No one likes to be like that.
"I so sorry for shouting at you."

"It's fine." I reassured him. "I understand." I still did feel shit from it but I'm just happy that he did realise who Amy really was. I looked at him again and just opened my arms wide, he laughed slightly as a smirk formed on his face and he opened his arm even wider and pulled me into a tight hug. I have my head pressed against his chest as all I could hear was his heart beat. I feel so safe in Craig's arms like nothing can hurt me while I'm here but I can't stay like this forever and we eventually pulled apart.

I closed my eyes for a short time just thinking.

"Thank you for everything." I whispered softly.

"What? I was a pric-"

"Not that you idiot." I cut him off. "For everything you've done to help me. You didn't need to do any of it. I guess I feel a bit guilty about putting you through all that shit." I admitted.

"I went through that shit with and for you. I care about you and I know you needed someone to help you get back on your feet." He looked down at me as he lifted my chin up with his fingers.

"I'm sorry. All you did was care about you but I didn't think once about you or you're feelings as I was too focused on my own mental health." It was hard to get all this out. I honestly hated myself for not caring about him as much as he cared about me.

"You did think. I know it was hard for you but you showed you cared through your own way. Anyway there's no need to think about me. Your way more important." He chuckled the last part.

"No way!" He managed to make me laugh bit as I hit his arm. "You're way more important. I'm just... broken. Broken stuff isn't as important."

"Wow. You may be a bit broken but I think you're nearly all bandaged up and nearly as good as new." I couldn't help but hug him again. Words can't describe how I feel but I know hugs can always tell someone.

"I got to do it myself but with help it'll be quicker." I said quietly.

"And will the help you'll live a long and happy life with them." Craig said I could just sense that he was smiling as them words came out.

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I feel like I was writing the end there but I wasn't? Oorrr maybe it is!? Nahhhh. So anyway sorry for updating late. It's going to end soon just because I'm unmotivated to write it and I don't want it to turn shit bc of that so it'll end quickly sorry

Word count: 999 (yes that is annoying me too. I just needed one more word to 1000)

28/11/17

-Bethany :)