Just cuts.. ✔️

30 | Stress And Jealously Doesn't Go Well Together

I walked up in a different place than my usual comfortable room... I looked around the room for some connection before it hit me that I stayed at Ed's spare room last night. I got up and realised I was wearing Ed's baggy top and shorts that he let me borrow since I didn't plan on staying over at his.

I heard talking coming from the kitchen so I curiously got of bed and changed into my clothes from yesterday. I neatly made the bed and made my way towards the kitchen. I could hear two masculine voices which I raised my eyebrows to.
'Who was Ed talking to?'
As I got closer I immediately recognised the voice. Craig.

I walked into the kitchen to find Craig leading against the counter with a glass of water and Ed standing opposite him laughing away. I awkwardly cleared my throat to let them know I was in the room.

"Morning." I cheerfully said as I took a glass from the cupboard and poured myself some water.

Craig's eyes widen as he stared at me then replied. "Good morning, did you stay the night?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yea, we were hanging out and it got too late for me to go home so I stayed in the spare room." I said casually as Craig nodded.

"So how was your date last night?" Ed asked  which made Craig nudged him on the arm. Then he sighed as he remembered I knew about it.

"Oh yea. Umm it went well." He said nervously while staring at Ed.
"It's official now." He muttered to myself.

"What? Dude is she your girlfriend now!?" Ed asked exciting.

I looked down at my hands and started playing with them anxiously. I really didn't know how t act towards this. I don't even know my own feelings yet... so I guess I should be happy for Craig?

"Yea, asked the question yesterday and her whole face lit up." I could see Craig felt uncomfortable talking about it. I know he'll be able to talk with just Ed in the room.

"Oh my god!" I faked a smile. "Yay!" I pulled Craig into a tight hug.
He was taken back by my action but after a minute he put he's arm around me in return.
"Yay! Argh I'm so happy for you!" I knew there was history with Amy and I but I really didn't want to ruin it for Craig... maybe she's changed?

"Aww thanks Penny." Craig whispered as we held onto each other. I didn't want to let go. Even though I felt like my heart was just ripped out of my chest and everyone left me to die, this hug just made up for it. Keeping me mentally stable.

When we finally pulled away we stared at each other awkwardly realising how long we had each other In embrace.

"Ummm." Ed said breaking the silence. "So when is your guys exams?" He asked changing the subject.

"Oh dang, our exams are next week." Craig said as realisation hit me and many eyes widen as I stared at Craig.

"What!? Next week!!! I completely forgot!" I shouted as I ran to Ed's spare bedroom and seized my bag and ran back into the kitchen.

"Sorry I've got to go. I haven't revised once and I really want to get good grades this year because I did shit all the other years because my mind was somewhere else." I slightly smiled as I gave Ed a quick hug and then another one for Craig.

"Okay, see you later. Don't study too hard." Ed said as he walked me to the door.

"I'll try not to but I'll probably get stressed about it but I'll see you tomorrow?" I said questioning.

"Oh crap. I wouldn't see you for bit." Ed pouted. I raised my eyebrows confused at him.

"Aw why not?"

"I'm going back to visit my sister." Ed simply said.

"Ah ok, well say hi to her for me and I'll see you when you come back."

"Sure and don't let the Amy thing get to you." He smirked.

"Wh-"

"Bye." He cut me off by waving and pushing me out the door and slamming it. "Rude." I laughed to myself.

*****
As I sat in my dark room with the only little light coming from my desk lamp as it shone over my revision that lay in front of me. I sighed to myself knowing that this wasn't enough for me to pass. I knew I couldn't pass any of my subjects as I haven't been paying attention in class for the past 4 years. I've only started recently getting better and wanting to succeed in life but it's hard when you know nothing.

Teachers always tells students to revise and study but little do they know is how stress we get about it. We can't all be star students getting straight A's. Some have to work hard to get there.

All the stress was getting to me about an hour into revision. I couldn't do it for long. It hurt my head too much and I had to learn this all in a couple of days. I couldn't do this. I can never do this. I'm just a stupid student who goes to school but ends up homeless person who failed in life.
'How was I suppose to remember this all?'

After about another half an hour I stopped to take a break but I didn't expect to have a breakdown instead. I couldn't take this stress while negative comments just came flying into my head while trying to do it. This was in the first time in months that I cried like this. I haven't had to go through this alone for so long that now I feel like they deserve to be left alone when I cry over the smallest things.

"Snap out of this Penny." I got up and walked into the bathroom as I stared at myself in the mirror.

My tear stained eyes had giant bags under them as it was late. My hair was sticking up everywhere. I really didn't care about my appearance right now.

"Pull yourself together. You got this far so I know that you can do it! Come on! It's just exams. Don't get anxious and stressed out." I started breathing out and in to calm myself.

I thought I could revise without that happening again but I guess life doesn't go as planned.

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Hey! I'm so sorry about slow updates. I just haven't felt like updating and today I kinda wanted to do it and write more. So bare with me here. Sorry if the chapters are getting even more shitty.
Well anyway. Hope you liked it.

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