Just cuts.. ✔️

12 | The Ocean

Penny's POV

When I noticed the guy who was standing in front of me was Craig I knew there was something wrong. I could tell from his face that something was bothering him but I've learned not to force someone to into telling me so I left it when he said he was fine.

Craig left after we had a talk. I got this weird vibe when I was around him. I didn't know what to think of it. It might be a bad vibe or it might be a good one? I don't have a clue, I've never been good with my emotions and understand them. I usually bottle them up.

"One minute? Was that the guy you told me about?" Ed said out of shock of what he realised.

"Yup. That's Craig." I kinda laughed.

"You seem in a good mood about it?"

"Oh am I? Sorry, it's just today was a good day and nothing right now could ruin it. I haven't had fun like that in years." I said remembering a memory I had when I was younger.

We were walking along the beach, just by the water but not too close that the water could come and take us in and drown us.... that doesn't sound too ba-

NO STOP IT! NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TODAY! I need to stop feeling like this! I need to lighten up a bit and enjoy life.... but the thoughts keep coming back. Every time I try and be happy some how a thought from the back of my head will come through and destroy my day.

"You ok there?" Ed looked at me as the sun blasted towards him lighting up his face. "You look lost in thought."

"Sorry. I was, just thinking about things I guess." I said as I kicked the sand about.

"Just don't think too deep, enjoy today." He smiled.

"I'll try."

For the first time I thought I got them thoughts out. I pushed them back and didn't let them win this time because I was determined. Determined that it's my own life to live and not to let my thoughts ruin this for me.

Am I finally going to over come depression?

"Thanks Ed." I sat down on the sand watching the sea hit off the rocks creating a calm atmosphere.

"Thanks for what?" He laughed sitting down beside me.

"For helping me today. You might not think it but this day made me happier. Made me forget about my problems for awhile. Not being anxious every minute and not letting myself drown in thoughts." I opened it.

"Ha, no problem. But you did it too, you chose to have fun and let me join you with this whole experience."

I didn't reply. I felt like I didn't need to, a comfortable silence washed over as we stared out into the sparkling sea that lead into nothingness.

"We should explore the sea some day. Get away and explore the world." I said thinking about life. I want to do something with my life.

First of all I want to get rid of my depression what might take years. It's not a hard thing to just make go away but I now believe I can do it! With Ed's help I think it'll happen.
Second of all I wanna just travel. Go away the world and see places. There's so much to explore that I haven't seen. The whole world is magical. Maybe theres magic somewhere? I'll love if there is but nah. That's unlikely.. but maybe?

"We should. Just go somewhere. Get away from this place." Ed sighed.
"We have to at least go out on a boat soon! Doesn't have to be far, just to experience the feeling!" He stood up on his feet excitedly.

"Yes!" Ed grabbed my hands and pulled me up. "But how?" I froze as I realised the reality. We're homeless with not a lot of money.

"I'll rent a boat today and we'll go on it when they say we can! I have some money I've been saving up!" He ran down the beach like bullet. I chased after him smiling to myself.

"But it's your money. I expect you don't have a lot." I crouched over to caught my breath.

"Yea I know but I want at a sandwich down the street so I can always just work to get money." He smiled.

"You sure you want to do this? It's your money." I didn't want him wasting his money.

"Yea I'm 100% sure." He laughed as he walked up to a small building where you can rent boats.

I decided not to go in and just sit outside and watch the world go by. Maybe I can get through this.
I feel so much happier now. Life has got so much better since I've meet Ed.

'Ha! You think he'll stay with you. He might take that boat and leave. You gave him the idea! You stupid rat!' My mind spoke its mind. (Wtf? Pun?)

No no no! The thought said the truth. I grabbed my head and started shouting.

"NO NO NO NO! YOUR WRONG!" I shouted at my mind not realising that I'm saying it out loud and I was getting weird looks. I thought today could of been a prefect day without the devil coming in and wrecking it

I was shaking. Trembling from this. My whole body got weak as tears streamed down my face.

I didn't want it to true, But what if it is?

Ive been bottling my emotions up for so long that I can't help but react over the smallest things.

"PENNY!" A familiar voice came running over and immediately pulled me into a hug.
"Your ok, relax." It was Ed. He was speaking gently as he held me close to him.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving." Just them words made me feel better and I calmed down in he's warm arms.

Your wrong mind! Your always wrong.

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Hey! Ok, so my eyes string rn so yay! Fun am I right? Ok I've got a plan and a plot twist but I don't know when it's going to happen so just go with it for now.
Thanks for reading❤

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