Just cuts.. ✔️

23| Old Friend?

Penny's POV

I slowly opened my eyes to a bright light. I smiled to myself thinking this must be heaven. The light everyone talks about when dying. As I blinked my eyes and finally focused them I saw a dull, white ceiling above me. My face dropped. This isn't heaven.  Even hell would be ok now.

As I started focusing on what's happening around me I hear voices. Familiar voices. I was too scared to do anything, I stayed still until I heard the door slam close and the voices were gone, I slowly turned my head to see no one was in the room anymore. I sighed in relief, I didn't want to talk to anyone... everything started rushing back to me as I remembered what I did to make myself in the hospital... how the hell found me. Why didn't they leave me? I told them to let me go but they didn't. This was going to be the only one for me to finally go back to my normal bubbly self I use to be years ago... I miss the old me.

I looked around the dull hospital room, seeing the sunlight beam in and reflect off my phone that was sitting on the bed side table. I lifted my arm out to lift it up but immediately froze when I saw what I did to my waist. There was a giant bandage all around it but you could see all the blood that sipped out of my waist. It covered in blood as some cuts sneaked out of the bandage to reveal itself.
I grabbed my waist with my other hand as I saw all the old scars that covered my whole body. All the times that I did it came back. Everything I regret.

"Penny?" A voice said as I spun my head towards the door to see my mum standing there looking anxious. The look in her eyes of guilt and panicked with a mixture of sadness. My heart stopped as my eyes filled with tears.

'Everyone knows..'

My nightmare has came true... everyone knows my secret. The one I've been keeping for years is finally out.

"M-mum." I said barely in a whisper. Before I could say another word she ran over to me and embraced me into a bear hug, we stayed like this for a while. A mother and daughter moment. No one dared to speak to break the comfortable silence.

"I'm sorry! I've been should a shitty mum! I haven't been there for you, please never do this again!? You scared the hell out of me, I nearly lost you." I looked down at my lap... I didn't want to make eye contact with the person who I caused pain to. "I love you so much and I don't know what I'll do without you even though I haven't been doing anything with you or the attention you deserve. We can start again when you get out... only if you want?" She looked at me with hopefully eyes. I didn't know what to say. She said it all so quick... I was speechless.

"Mum... I would love that." Was all I managed to say.. and it was all I needed to say.

My mum stayed with me for awhile. We didn't mention anything more about why I'm here or my depression, we both knew that wasn't a topic none of us wanted to talk about right now. It was for another day.

******

The door creaked open. I expected to see a doctor since my mum left they're been checking on me quite a lot but instead I saw a dirty blonde hair guy staring at me with a small smile on his face while holding a card, flowers and some chocolate. I sat there staring at him, unsure of what to do. I tempted suicide and people's acting like it didn't happen.... I can't. I know it happened and I can't stop but want to do it more. My whole brain is shouting at me. They want it to end as much as everything else in my body does but it's messing with me.

"How you feeling?" Ed walked over as he set the flowers in a vase and passed me the chocolate and card.

"Thanks." I muttered as I accepted the gifts.

"I'm sorry..." Ed said breaking the awkward silence. "I know I shouldn't have left... I should of at least told you. Maybe you wouldn't of do... you know." He looked down at my waist at what I nodded to.
"You could of been in the library with me still and I could of helped you with it but I didn't. I left." I awkwardly sat there. I was  overreacting when he left. It's just I had to leave with Jim when he did.

"Ed..."

"Edward Jones."

"Edward Jo- What!?" I stopped myself before I could shout. "You're..." I looked at him with horrific eyes.

"Yes I am... Since I met you I knew it was you.... that's what made me want to help you so much and be friends with you."

"I was going to say I overreacted! But you knew the whole time and you didn't tell me!? What the hell! I thought you were gone! You moved away when your parents died though.."

"I did but I ran away and came back here but I couldn't find you because you moved in with Jim. I know I should of told you but..."

"Ok I was going to say it's fine that you left. You had a reason but what's your reason for not telling me you're my old best friend who I thought I'll never see again!" I shouted as it started to heat up and my breathing went out of control.

"I didn't know how you'll react. This wasn't the best time to tell you..."  He sighed as he stared at me. "Please just say you'll forgive me one day." He stood up and walked out of the door.

"Maybe. Edward Jones... but some day you're going to have to let me go."

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I have a feeling I should have waited to do that... ah well! Hope you's are enjoying this book so far. Ino like no one reads it but for the ones that do thank you so much!

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