Just cuts.. ✔️

18 | Finally Telling

As I looked down from the tall bridge, I breathed in heavily.

'Is this really happening?'

I stood tall as my eyes focused on the busy road beneath me. The roaring of the engines echoed through the sky.

Thoughts shouting inside my head telling me all different types of things causing me to go insane with the mixed emotions. How am I suppose to live a good life with negative vibes everywhere I walk.

I was ready. Ready to just end it then and now.... but I didn't. I stopped myself. Stopped myself from a future that I'll never see. My Brian and heart told me to just step over the edge. But my feet didn't do it. They stopped and turned around off the edge. Off the edge of suicide.

My feet guided me off the edge and onto the bridge when I sat with my back against the wall crying. Crying about life. Crying about what I nearly did. Crying about how no one would of noticed if I left the world. Crying about life.
People don't know my story. My past. My present. I've never opened up to anyone expect Ed. But for what I was going to do is a big step for me.

After a while of crying I finally decided to get up and head to my neighbour hood but I didn't go to my house. I walked farther down. With my red stained eyes that we're still leaking. I finally got to a grey house with the numbers '67.'

I looked around me as I took deep breaths trying to control myself. I slowly lifted my hand towards the door and knocked.
I waited a couple of minutes until the door creaked opened. There stood a tall brown haired teenager boy who's smile disappeared when he saw me looking like a mess. My makeup had rubbed off showing all the bruises and cuts caused by my step dad. My eyes red stained from crying and I was standing there shivering only wearing a grey short sleeve lose top and leggings.

"Oh my god! Penny! Come in!" Craig said rushing me inside his house.

I stepped into the warmth of his home as I looked around seeing all of his family photos hanging our the walls.

"Sit down on the sofa, I'll get you a blanket." He walked out of the room and upstairs. I sat there holding myself.

Today I just felt like I was falling apart. I needed someone to help me and talk to. I don't know if it would be a good decision to tell Craig but he's nice and would understand.... right?

"Here." A soft comfortable blanket was put around me.

"T-th-anks." I whispered.

"Are you ok?" Craig sat opposite me looking me straight in the eye.
I didn't reply. I sat there thinking.

'Should I tell him the whole story? From star to now? My dad? My regrets? What I do to myself? The abuse from my step dad? There's so much too tell but how?'

"Penny? You can tell me. You know that." He softly smiled as his eyes shined.

"C-c-Craig.... I don't know if I can." I managed to say.

"It's ok if you don't want to. I'm not going to force you but you know it might help if you do."

"I know. I'll try and explain. There's a lot....." I looked at my feet. Craig moved around myself me as he put his arm around me. I looked up at him as I was about to break down. He pulled me closer as I rested my head onto his shoulder.
"My life... it hasn't been the best... I use to love life when I was younger but then my d-dad di-ed." I tried staying strong I had to take a risk.

"I sorry." Craig whispered.

"My mum started drinking after that and I kept blaming myself for his death. If he didn't go out to the shop just because I wanted because I wanted a new camera for my birthday then he wouldn't of got into a car accident."

"Don't blame yourself. He just wanted you to be happy. You couldn't of knew that it was going to happen." He reassured me as his sweet voice spoke.

"I know... but ever since my life has been a mess. My mums not her own happy self. I've done things I regret." I froze as I pulled up my sleeve to look at all my horrible cuts and scars that covered my body. "B-but at the same time I want to do it more. I want to end it.... forever."

"Penny! You listen to me. I'm sorry you feel like you do but please stop." He put his hands on my shoulders as he stared at me with a serious expression.
"I care about you.... a lot. I don't know what I'll do if you did end it. You have to think about everyone else. They'll be in pain when you go. There's more people that care about you than you think. The day I found you on the roof my heart broke. Seeing you in all that pain just killed me. These scars will stay with you but not too remind you off your pain but how you will get over this. I will help you with whatever I can do! I promise I will help."

I stared at him wide eyes. My started shaking as tears streamed down my face. Someone actually cares.

"Craig.... I nearly jumped.... I was on a bridge ready to do it.. but I don't know why but I didn't."

"Oh my god. It's good that you didn't jump! But never! Please don't. If you feel like this come to me straight away." He pushed someone hair away from my face to look at me.
"How do you get these cuts and bruises on your face? Did you do them..?"
I shook my head slightly as a reply.

"My.... step dad did... you can't tell anyone!! He abuses me makes me feel weak and useless. I hate myself." I cried into his shoulder.

"Penny you can't go back there. If he does that you need to tell the police or someone."

"I know.... but I can't."

"You can stay here tonight if you want." He offered.

"That'll be great... thanks Craig. Some day I'll explain things in more detail." ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Hey! Ok I cracked my phone so it's hard to write. Ignore typos and grammar mistakes.

FINALLY SHE TOLD CRAIG! YAY! GO CRAIG!

Hope you's enjoy it.

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