Just cuts.. ✔️

15 | Changes

I sat in my dark room as light escaped in through the window. I didn't want anything to do with the outside world today.

Everyone has them days when they don't want to social and just die in a dark hole.... right? I can't be the only one who thinks like this. There has to be more people like me and understands how I feel. Maybe I see them everyday and don't realise, just as they see me. The keep all their mentions hidden away from the world just waiting for one day to explore out. There's billions of people in this world. Some have depression. Some are happy. Some has middle Life cirrus. Loads of people going through different things but we don't know. They keep it hidden. Just like me.

***
"Penny?" A soft calm voice said as my door creaked open."

I immediately shot up from my bed to see my mum.... not my drunk mum. But my real one. I could tell she hasn't been drinking in awhile and that she's going back to her old self. The one I realised and loved before my father died and married Jim thinking she loved him but he's the one that started her on alcohol in the first place.

"Y-yes." I replied anxious.
She slowly walked over and sat beside me on my bed.

"I'm... sorry..." she quietly said as she looked down at her feet and back up with me. My heart completely stopped beating for a good minute.
"I've been a shit mother..... I've been just sitting in the living room drinking for hours just not caring what your doing or needing in life." Her voice started breaking as she tried to hold tears back.

"Mum....." I couldn't finish my sentence. This was all too much. To have her back to her old happy self is something but for her to apologise and stop drinking for a day is overwhelming.

"No! I'm being serious! I just missed your father so much that I though marring another guy would make me happy but it didn't! I don't love Jim! I know he verbally abuse you! I hate it. I couldn't let him do it anymore. I'm stopping drinking for good and we're getting out of here right away!"

I looked at her wide eyed. I don't know if I can trust her. And I guess she doesn't know that Jim abuse me more than verbally.

"Mum.... I don't know.." I finally spoke after a long silence.

"Come on! We can't let him do this to us. Pack your stuff and we're gone when your finish." She stormed out of my room and towards her where I heard her throwing this about.

She wants me to trust her and just leave? Well I guess she is my mother and I do love her... it's better than nothing right?

As I started to pack I felt like the walls were closing in causing me to hyperventilate. I was struggling to stand up straight. I got really light headed as the world around me went dark. I made my way to my bed where I lay trying to calm myself down.

Everything's going to change now. My whole world. I could finally get my life together but why don't I want it to happen? Anything good that comes my way I just don't want it. It's like I want myself to be miserable for the rest of my life. No! I'm going to let myself have this.

I finally got my breathing under control as I finished packing everything into my bag. I grabbed my baggy army green hoodie and pulled it on then walked out my door with my bag.

"you ready?" My mum appeared from her bedroom.

"I guess." I swallowed.

"C'mon!" She grabbed my hand as we tie toed down the stairs. We both thought Jim was fast asleep in the living room so we stayed as quite as impossible as we tried for our escape.
We got to the front door where my mum placed her hand on the handle and we both took a deep breath for the new changes ahead of us.

"Where the hell do you's think yours are going!?!?" An angry voice came from behind. We looked at each other then turned around to see a not so happy Jim watching our every movement.

"Sorry Jim but I'm leaving you. I don't love you. I need to start a new life with my daughter." My mum said firmly.

"Well well! Don't you think your smart."

"Penny. Go." My mum whispered to me. But I was stubborn I'm not leaving her with him.

Jim grabbed my mums wrist as he dragged her into the living room and throw her on to the chair.

"HEY!!" I started as I tried getting to her but was held back by Jim.

"Now listen here! No one is leaving me! You need me." He chuckled. "If you leave I can start gossip. I can get people after you's."

"Fuck off!" I said without realising that I was swearing in front of my parent.

"Wow! Someone's got a mouth since she ran away."

I rolled my eyes at he's comment.

"If you don't let us away I can tell the police everything you've done to me!!!" I argued back.

My mum gave me a worried look.
"What have he done?"

"Oh did you not tell her!" He laughed.
"And if you tell anyone I will make it worse!" He threatened.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO PENNY!" My mum stood up.

"Wow! Someone's mad." He laughed.
"That's non of your business!" He pushed her backwards onto the ground causing her to hit her head off the fire place.

"Mum!" I shouted as I ran over beside her.

"If you's leave I'll do worst." And with that he left.

~~~~~~~

Oooo drama.
Hey guys!

Go check out eelder326 new book called 'The Adventure of Depression' what I've read so far it's really good! Her books are always good so check them out.

Thanks for reading.

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