Just cuts.. ✔️

34 | Brother & Sister?

I got a text yesterday from Craig asking me to meet him. My anxiety was really getting to me now. I didn't know if he was still mad at me? What would happen if Amy did tell him the story but twisted it to make me out as the bad guy. I couldn't even face him if she did tell him that. What if I was the bully the whole time but I just didn't realise it. NO! I'm not going to think that, I was more than nice to them and then the rest of the time I was an outcast who didn't socialise with anyone. 

I was scared to meet Craig, I didn't want to lose him but at the same time I didn't want  to lose him to Amy. I could pretend like I over-reacted and say sorry and let Amy have him so we can stay friends but it wouldn't be long till she makes his life hell too but I didn't want that to happen at all.

*****

I was to meet Craig at one o'clock at the lake so I decided to get up early so I could make a pit shop on my way there. I didn't put in any effort at all as he has literally seen me at my worst so I usually felt comfort around him in whatever. 
I just put on some black, leggings with a crop white tops and then a grey hoodie over it. I tied my hair in a really messy bun that I couldn't care less about it. I looked so pale with bags under my eyes making my blue eyes stand out more but they weren't dancing like they usually would when I would hang out with my friends. They were dull. Just like months ago when I couldn't feel anything, I was emotionless. 

My phone went off in my pocket and knocked all my thoughts away. I took it out and saw that Craig texted.

C: Still up for the lake at 1?
P: Yea I guess.

I put my shoes on as I made my way to the front door and exited on my way. I started walking to the lake but I quickly stopped at some flats and pressed the call button to falt 015 and a voice answered.

"Hello?" A very sleepy voice came through. I rolled my eyes, like always.

"Boo." I simply said.

"Oh ahh." Was his reply as he buzzed me in.

I walked up the stairs but I didn't have to walk up all when I saw Ed. I froze as we both made eye contact then laughed as I ran up to hug up, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he put his on my waist and lifted me up. 

"Wow, it been like a week and two. We literally cannot be apart." Ed chuckled. 

"Um duh we can't." I replied back. We stayed like this for a few minutes until someone walked out of their flat and aww at us making us both feel uncomfortable and then one muttered to her friends. "Aw young love." We both looked at each other then laughed.

"Nope young friendship." i awkwardly laughed.

"Nah I'll say more young siblings." Ed corrected me. I looked at him with a giant grin on my face. I've never had a brother so for him to think of me as a sister just made me so happy. I've never really had much of a family when my father died so it's good to know I have another family. 

"Awww Edward!" I said seriously. "Stop it. I'm gonna cry." He just laughed it off as he grabbed my hand and walked me up to his flat. He swung open the door as he led me to the sofa. It was a normal thing for me to come over and just sit in his living room for hours chatting.

"So what happened when I was gone?" He asked.

"Um no much I guess." I lied. I knew I wanted to tell him everything but I needed to think of a way to say it.

"Really? The way you said it, it sounds like something happened." Damnit, he knows me too well.

"Where would I be without you? I would never tell anyone anything but of course you noticed." I said trying to sound cheerful.

"Yup and you better tell me." He went seriously.

"Okay where do I start?" I said trying to think about what all happened. "Sooooo ummm we had exams as you know and you know I have anxiety." I watched him as his facial expression changed. "They really don't go well together. Studying never worked out for me. You remember them thoughts I use to have? Them voices saying things and killing me inside." I was saying this so casual and to be honest I don't care anymore. 

Ed moved over a bit and pulled me in a hug. He really didn't have to say anything but hug me/be there for me to be content.

"Penny. I'm so sorry I wasn't here." His face turned into a swamp of worry.  

"It's fine. I'm use to it by now."

"I really thought you were getting better." Ed said truthfully. 

"I really was and would have been fine if Craig had some common sense." I muttered the last part.

"Have you told him about Amy?" I froze as I turned around and stared at him with an confused expression.

"How did you know?" I asked shocked.

"I didn't but now I know that my theory was right. You and Amy known each other before they started dating." Wow. He's smarter than I thought. "So what did happen between you two?" 

"Do I have to tell?" I sighed.

"Duh yes."  

*****

As I was about to leave to go meet Craig, Ed stopped me.

"You haven't got urges have you?" He asked out of the blue. I knew he thought I was saying something like that when I said the voices are back.

"I have." He froze. "But I've never done anything. I need to stay strong for you, Craig, my mum and myself." 

We both didn't say anything while he made his way to the door and pulled me in for yet another hug.

"Good. That's the strong Penny, I Know." He whispered as I could hear his heart beat against his chest. 

"Love you, you big goofball." I laughed into his chest.

"Love you too." 

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HELLLLLOOOOO! Okay I kinda like Penny in this chapter? Like all the others she's like shit I gotta hide this, I'm so sad etc but this time she's like yup that's me.

Btw who do you ship? Penny & Ed or Penny & Craig oooorrrr Ed & Craig XD (Okay I'll leave) 

BTW AGAIN! Yea slow updates atm (Been like for for awhile anyway) back to school again sooo yea

12/09/2017

Word count: 1136