Just cuts.. ✔️

24 | A Helping Hand

I hate hospitals. They're the worst places ever. I don't know anyone here and somehow strangers come in and check on me... It's just weird plus everyone knows why am I in here and to be honest it makes me feel uncomfortable. I bet you my whole school knows. Well this is going to be fun when I go back. I hate laying over and people seeing me at my worst. I've always been able to hide my emotions from people but now since everyone knows I can't act like none of this happens.

I sighed as I lay in the hospital bed looking around me. I don't know what I was suppose to do here? I don't even want to be here. Not on Earth. I want to be gone but they're not letting me go. They put animals down to end their suffering but they wouldn't do it with me. Why? I'm nothing better than animals.

I heard the door open slowly as I turned my head to meet Craig's eyes. He smiled softly as he walked over to be and took a seat.

"Hey how you doing?" He said quietly as he starched the back of his neck.

"Meh...I don't know to be honest with you." I looked down at my hands were my eyes lead up my arm to see all the scars and cuts. My eyes widen as I never really saw the harm I was doing to myself.

"Can I ask you something?" Craig asked and I nodded in respond. "Why?"

I looked at him not knowing what to say. I didn't open my mouth, I was too scared about what would actually come out.

"Please Penny, You can talk to me. I don't want to lose you." I could hear he's voice breaking as he spoke.

"My life's a mess...." I finally answered after a long awkward silence. "I just don't want to go through this anymore... every single day... I wake up feeling shit.. I put on a fake smile but people can see right through it. It's a routine for my step dad to abuse me everyday." A flashback of Jim hitting me came into my head as I lay there screaming and crying at him to stop.... The first time he ever did it to be.

"Penny? It's ok he's not here. I'll tell the nurses not to let him in if they see him ok?" I snapped out of my daydream as Craig hand was on my shoulder. I didn't realize it but I was sitting there with tears in my eyes as I zoomed out.

"I just feel like I'm not worth living. Just a waste of space, I do nothing. I am nothing. If I ended it. It would all be over. Nothing would change if I go. No point me living never going to do anything with my life plus my depression is too bad. I can't go back from it. I'm too far."

"Penny. A lot would change if you're gone! I would changed. There's a lot of people who do care about you but you just don't know it. I heard loads of stories about you. When I meet you I got interested about you and asked around the school to see what they know." I gave him a weird look to say 'Why me?'
"I know some people don't like you but not everyone can like you. It's part of life. But some people called you mysterious because you don't let anyone in but some wanted to get to know you as they know there's something up with you. If you let people in they can help you. I want to help you.

"T-Thanks Cr-a-aig.... But I-I'm too deep in my own thoughts...They use to attack me all the time and they wouldn't stop." I sighed. Maybe I shouldn't be telling him that much information.

"Penny. Please don't think about doing it again. I care about you and you can talk to me. It's the same with Ed. I was talking to him earlier in the waiting room and he cares a lot about you." He smiled at me. He's smile was so bright that I swear I got a little bit of hope in me.

"Thanks Craig. You made me fe-"

"Wait! I'm not finished." I threw him a confused look. "You're an amazing person with a nice personality. You're just lost in life. But I wouldn't stop until you are happy and when you get out you're staying at my house! I don't care how weird it is but you're not going near your step dad. You deserve more than that." I looked at him with big eyes then pulled him in for a hug. we stayed like that for a bit. I could hear he's heart beat as we shared our heat with each other.

"Thank you so much... That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said." I said while fighting back tears but they're were tears of happiness.

Maybe I'll stay a bit longer.... But it might take longer for the self harm to stop. A lot of work until I'm through this. Depression isn't a easy thing to over come. It might take years to get through it.... but I can do it... Right?

'Ha! That's funny! You'll never get over it. Stop being so stupid. You'll always be a depressed freak with no life. Nothing can help a rat like you. You can try but you'll fail.'

My mind always says how I feel....But somethings it can be wrong. No harm in trying.

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Hey new chapter YAY! Ok I dont know how many chapter I should do? Any ideas on when It should end? Pls leave suggestions. Thanks for reading this. Ignore spelling and grammar mistakes.

Thanks
Vote and Comment 14/4/17