Control (Evak & Philkas)

Chapter fourteen: Don't say that

  Friday morning, Philip found Lukas waiting by his locker. Okay, he wasn't exactly by his locker, more hiding behind some row of locker by Philip's locker. Philip was about to unlock his locker to put his stuff in when he heard a whistle. He ignored it, thinking it was people being rude and whistling at girls in the hallways.

It was not.

The whistling was heard again but this time, it was louder and seemed closer. Philip looked around and saw a familiar blonde head behind some lockers. Lukas's blue irises were looking straight at him before he motioned for the brunette to come over.

Sighing, Philip abandoned his locker and joined Lukas. ''I'm not some dog, you don't have to whistle at me to get my attention. You can say my name too, I'll understand that you're talking to me.'' There was a little bitterness in his voice but Lukas was too happy to see that Philip was okay to notice. 

Lukas grabbed Philip's hand, squeezing before releasing it as quick as he took it. ''I know, I just- I didn't think.'' Lukas bite his lip before continuing. ''All I had in mind when I saw you in the hallways was- How are you feeling? Are you okay?''

''I'm as okay as a teenager can be. Why did you ask?'' 

''But yesterday-'' Lukas protested, only to be cut off by Philip. 

''I'm fine, Lukas,'' he hissed. 

The brunette has lost track of how many time he's been asked that question since he fainted. It's nice to see that people care about him but he doesn't want people breathing down his back. He's not a small child, he can take care of himself. 

''You should've called to say you were okay.''

''I owe you nothing Lukas. We're not dating.'' 

Lukas gulped. He didn't want to make Philip mad, he was just worried about him but the brunette didn't see it like that. ''You haven't replied my texts. I thought were were good.'' 

Philip only read Lukas's texts this morning after he woke up. His phone was dead last night and he was too lazy and tired to plug it. When it turned on, a range of  'Are you okay?' and 'Philip, I'm worried' filled the small screen. He liked knowing that Lukas was worried, it means he cares about him. 

''And I thought you weren't ashamed of me anymore...'' 

Lukas looked down at his feet as guilt filled his guts. ''It's tough for me, Philip. I wish I could hang out and talk to you so openly at school. I wish I was brave enough to tell people to fuck off...or break up with Rose.''

''Being seen with me won't label you as gay, Lukas.''

''I know...'' His voice was soft and sad. ''People at school talks and...I don't want them to talkshit about me because of-'' He stopped himself, unable to say the word.

''There's always gonna people who talkshit in your back, that's the way people are.''

''People doesn't want me to be...that.'' 

''Gay. Lukas, gay. Fucking say it. No one's going to throw you in jail for saying the word gay.'' Philip rolled his eyes at Lukas's ridiculousness. 

''I know, I'm not stupid!'' Lukas snapped, his jaw clenching, feeling the water boil inside his body. 

Lukas doesn't like when people tells him the truth about himself. He tried to blame his reaction on Philip supposedly saying he was stupid when in reality, what he didn't like was Philip saying he was gay. He doesn't want to face the truth. So he denies it and act like Philip is saying some nonsense.