Control (Evak & Philkas)

Chapter thirty: Choices and regrets

  The death of Anne Shea took everyone by surprise. No one were expecting the call from the New York hospital on Thursday afternoon saying Anne Shea had been administered and they needed to speak to family members. 

''A stroke,'' they had said, sharing knowing looks with Helen and Gabe. 

Both boys knew it was bullshit. She didn't have a stroke but an overdose. Fucking hypocrites. As if they can't handle the truth. It's no secret that their mom is a drug addict; they've lived with her for seventeen years - fifteen for Isak.

When they showed up at the New York hospital, Philip and Isak were taken to Anne's room where she lied in a bed, wires and machines keeping her alive. Her forehead had a bruise on the side, probably from when she fell. Some man found her in a alleyway by her appartement.

They were expecting Philip to put a fight at the hospital but, it was Isak who was reluctant to let go of his mother. He didn't want to take her off life support. 

''Mom is strong, she'll get trough this. She always does,'' said Isak, trying to convince himself that his mom was going to recover. ''She'll wake up soon. S-she'll wake up, right, Helen?'' Isak had turned to Helen who was standing across the hospital bed.

It was heartbreaking to see. Seeing the fear and sadness in Isak's green eyes, Helen had a strong urge to pull him in a hug despite not being great at comforting people. 

The doctor came to Helen's rescue, sensing she didn't want to be the one to explain to Isak that his mom was already dead. ''I'm afraid Mrs Shea has been gone for a moment. The only thing that keeps her alive is those machines,'' explained the doctor, crushing Isak's hopes. ''She was unconscious when the ambulance arrived. We were able to bring her back but, I don't think she'll get better than this.''

Philip gulped, feeling a lump form in his throat. ''So, you're saying there's nothing left to do?'' 

''I'm afraid so.'' 

''No!'' They all turned at Isak's unexpected scream. ''No, no, no. There must be something else you can do. Mom isn't dead, she's breathing. She'll wake up soon and she'll get to go home and-'' He stopped himself, flinching when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

''Isak.'' It was Gabe. He moved until he was facing the blonde boy, Helen by his side. ''Your mother isn't going to wake up. Ever. A stroke is hard on the body...on the mind. Even if she'd wake up, I don't think she'd be the same. Recovery would be though and, let's not forget about the high risks of side effects like paralysis, cognitive problems, aphasia or dysarthria. Do you think your mom would want to live a life like that?''

Physic and mental restrictions like that would make her life more miserable that it already is. At least, with the drugs, she was free to move and be on her own. A paralysis might put her in a wheelchair. She might never be able to hold her cigarette or remember the name of her sons or worst, never recognize them. 

Biting down his bottom lip, Isak felt his eyes water at the idea of his mom not remembering him. He never had a good relationship with her but she's his mom. He loves her despite all the shitty things she did. 

On the drive back to Tivoli, Gabe and Helen had to stop to a gas station to fill the car tank and much needed coffees, leaving the two brothers alone in the car. They had been quiet in the car, looking out the window as Gabe drove them home. Home. That's what it was now; it won't be Helen and Gabe's house, it will be...home. 

''This is all your fault.''

Isak turned his head. ''What?'' 

''I said: this is all your fault,'' Philip repeated, making sure Isak heard him nice and clear.