Secrecy from the Fans - Luke Brooks

What's Going On?

It has been a few weeks since the boys left and I tried to regain my focus for school. Fail! I haven't been able to focus and it was starting to show in my grades. I am too close to the end of grade 12 to not to well now and I don't want my parents to get mad and cancel my travel plans for the summer. Talking to people on twitter and my YouTube channel RachelsRoom has helped me feel better whenever I get sad and when I needs a distractions.

I was on YouTube one day after taking a break from studying and just watching random videos when I saw one that had a picture of Luke and I and the title 5SOS - Wherever You Are. Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on it and a beautiful song started to play and pictures from the start of our relationship started to play. Some were posted on our social networks and others I did not know that the fans had, they are like secret agents sometimes 'Every night I almost call you just to say it always will be you wherever you are'. The video continued with more pictures and video clips we did together from RachelsRoom and the Janoskians channel with us alone and us with the others and some edits made by fans with their twitter names attached which I will followed later. At the end of the video the credits rolled and it said 'Cutest couple ever. I hope they get back together soon' with a picture of Luke and I hugging that Mia took and posted on her twitter. I started sniffling as I added the video to my favorites and followed the fan who made it.

"Hey, are you ready to study for finals?" Mia said as she walked in my room and dropped her stuff on my bed. "Hey what's wrong?" she asked when she saw me wiping away my tears "It's Luke isn't it?" she sighed as she sat next to me "Yes and no. Look" I said as I turned my laptop and played the video for her "Aw that's so cute Rachel." she said as the video ended. I nodded my head and she gave me an understanding smile "I miss them too." I sighed and dropped myself on my bed and just laid there for a few minutes until I was hit in the stomach with a pillow "Come on, missing them won't help us pass these exams. Get up!" she said as the pulled me back up. "Fine but we are doing English first" I said as I grabbed my books from the floor and spread them out over my bed. Mia and I spend the next few day studying and goofing off but we did get our work done. One night I was bored so I decided to FaceTime Luke and see how they are doing. After a few rings he picked up "Hello?" Luke said looking up and focused on something and I can tell that he has his phone on his lap

"Hey stranger" I said facing the camera. Luke looked down at his phone and smiled. Just seeing his smile instantly made me smile a little bigger and reminded me how much I miss seeing it almost every day, and the smell of his cologne, how cute he looks when he fixes his hair, his short temper, his adorable laugh, just him. I heard the other boys yelling and saw the top of Jai's head as he was cheering and yelling something about winning. "I'm sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt something." I said suddenly feeling nervous and like this was a bad idea. Luke held up a finger telling me to hold on and he walked out of the room and all of the noise went away. I heard him close a door and drop himself on his bed 'So he must have went to his room' I thought to myself. He looked back at the camera and smiled again "Hey Rach. How are you?" I looked away from my phone for a bit as I thought about the question "I'm alright I guess." I finally replied as I shrugged my shoulders. "I can tell you're not" he said and I heard him sigh. "I'm fine, I'm a big girl Luke." We both chuckled "Did I interrupt you from something with the boys?" "Nah not really, we were just playing FIFA but I got tired of always winning so I decided to give someone else a try" I laughed and leaned back into the headboard.

*Luke's P.O.V*

I could tell by the way that she answered "I'm alright" that she really wasn't alright. I remember I used to be the reason for her smiles and giggles and blushes but now I'm the reason for her tears. I know there isn't really anything I could do about it because if I decided to stay with her in Australia then it would ruin it for the rest of the boys, and all-or-nothing kind of thing. "I can tell you're not" I replied and let out a sigh and focused back on the girl that I left back home. I really did miss her voice, the smell of her hair, her getting on well with my mom, holding her in my arms, and so much more. I wish I could have brought her with me but she has to finish school and management thought she would be too much of a distraction. I pushed all of the aside and just talked to her as if she was right here with me.

"How is school?" I asked making random conversation "Stressful. Mia has been over every day this week so we can study for our exams soon." She replied rolling her eyes. "Ah Mia. Beau misses her a lot" I said wiggling my eyebrows and Rachel started to giggle "She misses him a lot too" she said copying me. "So how is everyone doing now that all of you are officially single?" I instantly felt my hands start to sweat and I started to get nervous. "Um…ok I guess. We haven't really had time to focus on it because we have been busy out here. I finally finished editing the video we shot in Sydney and I am going to call it Awkward Hotel Situations." I said changing the subject. "That's awesome I can't wait to see it. Did you guys get to film any new footage since you got there?" she said as she rubbed her eyes. She looked a little tired but I guess that's what finals do "Not really it's just been mostly meetings and exploring the place. I got a lot of scenery shots that I am going to start posting. How are your parents?"

"They are good, same as they were before you guys left only pushing me to do better in school since I'm almost done with it." she said smiling slightly "I'm so glad I don't have to take any. I hate school" I pushed everything that was bugging me aside and just talked to Rachel until James barged into my room yelling.

*Rachel's P.O.V*

Everything was going good with Luke and I and it felt like nothing has changed but I noticed he twisted his lip when I asked about them all being single and he only does that when he's nervous but I brushed it off until James burst in his room yelling "Jai said we have to drop what we are doing and clean the entire house now." Luke looked up confused as was I "Why would we do that?" I heard James scoff "Why do you think? Ariana is coming over and you know how he is when it comes to her" his voice started to fade towards the end which let me know he left.

Wait...but I thought they couldn't have any girlfriends while they were in America and the look on Luke's face showed that he had just realized what James said too. "Rachel I can explain" he said looking worried. I still had a blank look on my face as I started to process what was going on "Jai and Ariana are still together?" I asked with a lower than usual tone. He let out a sigh like he had just been caught and said "Yeah. They never broke up."

"But you said…So then you lied to me?" I yelled "AGAIN??" He started to rub his face in frustration. "I thought you said that you guys weren't allowed to have girlfriends on the road but Jai is still allowed to hook up with Ariana?!?" He let out a groan and cut me off "Rachel with them it's different ok? They have been dating longer then us and were already in a long distant relationship, it's just him moving closer to her." I stopped for a moment and let it all sink in.

"So you didn't have faith in us did you?" I asked as my voice began to crack. He didn't answer me but that was all the response that I needed. I officially broke, not just broke down and cried, I broke. The guy I gave everything to had no faith that our own relationship would last everything even after everything we have been through. Who needed Jessie to break us up when all you had to do was literally put space between us. What killed me more was the silence on the other end of the line as he didn't even try to deny it or comfort me and then he ended the FaceTime call. That is what I think ended what used to be us. I'm just not sure anymore.