G-Dragon One Shots (NC-17)

Forbidden

GD/TOP

I laid in the hotel room smoking a ciggerette as the prostitue I had hired dressed and counted her money before leaving.

I took a sip of the drink I had on the bedside table and set it back down with a heavy sigh. After every live performance it was always the same.

Id be horny as hell, would go to afterparties and drink until either a random girl at the club looked attractive or I would leave early and find a prostitute and we would go get a room and I would attempt to sleep with them.

The problem was I couldn't perform. I kept trying to convince myself I was straight and just hadnt found the right girl yet. I tried so hard to avoid the undeniable truth. I was gay and had a forbidden crush on my own bandmate, Choi Seunghyun.

I was going crazy trying to pretend I was straight because it would hurt my career if the truth was ever discovered. I always paid the girls I would hire even when nothing happened. If it was a random girl from a party Id drive them home and apologized saying I must be more tired then I thought.

I rested my face in my hands the tears starting to fall. Part of me felt like disbanding BIGBANG because of my secret. If TOP ever found out he would hate me forever. I knew I couldn't though, it would hurt my bandmates and hurt our fans and I loved them all to much to ever really do that.

With a deep sigh I got up not needing to dress since just like every other time I tried to have sex with a girl nothing happened.

I left the hotel driving back to my house and groaned loudly when I saw TOP's car in my driveway. I stalled by getting lost in my thoughts. Fans always shipped me with Seungri. It honestly made my stomach churn. Seungri was a handsome guy but just not my type I always reluctantly did skinship with him for the fans. Very rarely was I shipped with TOP. I enjoyed the few moments we had done fanservice but it was usually just for those silly parodies we did.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and finally stepped out of the car. I had given all the members a key to my house and TOP usually used it when their were fans stalking his house. I entered my home to find TOP sitting on my couch.

"Hey hyung," I said from the door closing it behind me.

"Hi Ji," he said looking back at me.

"Fans around your house again?" I still hadnt moved from the door.

"Yeah, but its not just that. Im worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately." he said as he continued to watch me from the couch.

"Im fine, im just tired and have a bit of a headache, you are more then welcome to spend the night. Im headed up to bed though," I said retreating up the stairs before he could say anything and so I could escape those piercing eyes.

I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed putting my arm over my face. Fresh tears started falling and where as I usually tried to force them to stop I let them fall this time.

A knock on my bedroom door made me quickly wipe my face, push the tears away and clear my throat.

"Come in hyung," I said not bothering to move.

I heard my door open and shut a minute later.

"Jiyong, you aren't being honest. You have been moody and depressed for months now. What's going on? Is it girl trouble? Are you and your girlfriend on the outs again," he asked and I felt him sit on my bed.

"She and I broke up 6 months ago. Its not girl trouble," I said a little more snappy then I had intended, "I wish it was that simple." I finished softening my tone. It wasnt hyung's fault that I was a gay pervert lusting after his own bandmate.