Forced For The Cameras

33- Not Again

March 28, 2016 33 weeks & 2 days

Kylie:

It was now about a week and a half since the pictures of me and harry had gone everywhere. We've spent everyday together since.

It was hard to deal with all the shit i was getting for jumping into a relationship while pregnant but at the same time it was fun. That night was such an eye opening moment for me. It helped me realize that I deserve better than Justin and that I'm so much more than just a body. Harry has helped me see that.

I'd hate to admit it but history might be repeating itself. I guess you could say I have a little crush on harry but it was just a different vibe than what I got from Justin. He's way more mature and laid back. He's not argumentative he's just a simple and sweet guy who doesn't view me as another person to sleep with. That's another thing, Justin has been trying to get in my pants from the moment I met him, harry hasn't and if he has well at least he's not obvious with it.

He hasn't begged me to sleep with him and was understanding of why I didn't want to sleep with him that night after the after party.
It's nothing but a good time with him.

"We should shake up the internet with a picture, come on I'll post a picture of us on my Instagram!"
"You're really trying to get on scooters bad side aren't you?" He laughed before placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Who gives a shit about scooter. He put me in this position to begin with and the only good thing about this while this is my daughter..." I finished typing and threw my phone on the couch.

"Although we did have a rough start at the beginning." I rubbed my belly before looking at him.
"Do you think you would have regretted it, you know if you would have gone through with it?"

I was silent for a moment not even wanting to think about it.
"Of course I would have, but at the time it seemed right. Plus I had two babies at the time and I knew I would be alone in this situation. I would regret it but I believed at the time that I couldn't give them what they needed and deserved..."

"And what do you think now?"
"That I still can't but I'll go through hell and back trying." I smiled at him.
"Now that sounds more like my girl." He patted me on the top of my head like a dog causing me to roll my eyes.

The day was spent with harry cracking me up every second he could get. It was a peaceful evening but I knew everything would change once I got that call.

"Hello?"
"Hey how are you?" I let out a sigh hearing his voice. I missed it but not all the drama that came along with it.

"I'm fine Justin, why are you calling me?"
"Just checking in on you. I saw that post, scooter made you didn't he?"
I made a noise while laughing,
"No actually, scooter didn't tell me to do it, I just decided to do it because I'm sick of being told what to do and when to do it."

"Yeah I understand..."
It was silent for a couple of seconds but I could tell something was bothering him.

"Ky I really miss you, and us before all this shit happen."
I remained silent not knowing what to say. How do you respond to that?

"I promise you when this tour is over I'll be by your side ever step of the way, I'll be a changed man I swear. I want to be there for you and our daughter. Speaking of our daughter, don't you think we should decide what we're going to call her? I'll be in LA soon I gotta go bye!"
Even if I wanted to fit in a single word I couldn't because of how fast and how much he was talking.

What the hell just happened? He wants to get back together after everything? No! I refuse, I'm happy now with harry. I wanted to talk to harry about us and my feelings towards him but now here comes Justin to do his thing of constantly ruining a good thing.

I want to just get away for awhile but I'm way too pregnant to go anywhere right now, but I guess it's a good thing because I don't need to run away from my problems.

"Who was that?" Harry was channel surfing as he let his head fall backwards in order to see me as I walked up to the couch.
"Justin, yep and we just had the most interesting conversation"
"Oh yeah?"

I nodded my head,
"He wants to get back together after his tour and to be a family."
"And what did you say to that?" He sat up to look me straight in the eyes with an odd look on his face.
"Well I didn't get to say much before he had hung up"

"Well what do you plan on telling him when you see him or talk to him again?"
"That's a good question that I haven't figured out yet. I'll let you know once I figure it out." He nodded and his gazed drifted away from me over to the window where he looked out to for a few minutes.

"Well I'm going to go find some food." I nodded my head as he made his way to the kitchen.

I had planned in sitting harry down and spilling my heart out to him but now that Justin is back in the equation, who knows how this will turn out. We all know I'm sucker when it comes to him and his words. I just hope I'm able to work this out and make the right decision this time since this whole love thing isn't really my strong suit.

Damnit Justin! Why did you have to come back into my life just when I thought I had everything going on the right track.