We Are the Normal Ones: Memoirs of a Fallen Human

I Want...

I want to go out in service.
I want to read my bible.
I want to clean my room.
I want to blow out my brains.
I want to sleep all day.
I want to cry all night.
I want to give up.
I want to fight with all my might.
I want to live forever.
I want to die tomorrow.
I want to cut my wrists.
I want to bandage them all with care.
I want to leave everything behind.
But I want to take what matters with me.
I want to find true love.
But I want to live all alone.
I want to be the greatest.
I want to be nothing special.
I want to matter to one person specifically.
I want to hide under the radar.
I want to have nice things.
I want to live simply.
I want to travel the world.
I want to disappear from existence.
I want to matter to no one.
I want to be remembered by everyone.
I want to stab myself.
I want to cut out all the pain.
I want to use the box cutters.
I want to bleed every where.
I want people to leave me alone.
I want people to hold me and never let go.
I want to put a gun to my temple.
I want to pull the trigger.
I want my brain to stop.
I want it all to stop.