We Are the Normal Ones: Memoirs of a Fallen Human

okay

I heard two knocks on my door. I knew it was my dad before he even opened it to show it was him. He's the only one who knocks like that. My brother just opens my door. And my nana, well. She knocks differently.

"You didn't go to meeting?" He asked. I was dreading this question.

"No."

"...why...?" He asked as if he had the right to ask. He asked condescendingly. I didn't like how he asked why. Because it didn't seem like he really cared to understand why. And the rest of the conversation proved true.

"Because I didn't want to see people."

He looked at my TV screen which wasn't showing anything but the home page of the app I use to watch Asian shows.

"Aren't those people?" He said laughing. I didn't answer. I did try to explain myself on what I meant by seeing people. And it didn't help. I just remember saying I didn't want to have to answer the question "Are you okay?" or "How are you?" I didn't have the energy to lie today. Or the other two meetings I had missed.

Dad then says okay and begins to leave but not without asking me one more question.

"Are you okay?"

I answered no. But as I answered, he laughed and closed the door. It was a joke. He didn't mean it. He was just making fun of my answer.

I let out a sigh. It was a joke.

I looked at the closed door. You of all people are supposed to ask me if I'm okay. It wasn't that l long ago I wanted to kill myself. Why don't they ever ask me how I'm doing or if I'm okay. But then they act all shocked and surprised when I end up in the mental institution for attempting or planning my suicide. They just pretend it never happened and move on. The only one who is "sick" is my nana. She's the only one who needs constant care and attention. Me. I have to hold my own in this family. Vloria is fine. She's okay.

She's okay.