We Are the Normal Ones: Memoirs of a Fallen Human

Lost Memo #3: The Feeling

Year: 2016
(36 days after diagnosis)

I don't want temporary happiness.
Or medicated happiness.
I just want to be happy.
But those moments where I actually feel hope... I love those moments.
But then they are gone.
Like someone saw that I was happy and snatched it away.
I guess that's why I love that video so much.
The Feeling by Justin Bieber.
The girl represents my happiness.
And I'm fighting myself, fighting like heck, to get out of my head.
I'M FIGHTING.
I promise I am.
I have to win.
Right?

Right?

Who's the victor when you fight yourself?
Which part of you loses?
Sanity?