We Are the Normal Ones: Memoirs of a Fallen Human

Magic Show

I was going to leave. I was going to head out. I was getting ready for meeting. But then I began to tremble. I began to regret. Heat started to rise in my body and I felt like I was suffocating. I heard a soft whisper. That whisper grew. It developed bass and authority. It spoke. I listened. It spoke. I listened.

"You.
Are.
Pathetic.
You are nothing but scum.
You deserve all of this.
She was right.
You are nothing but your disorder.
Little bipolar girl.
Look at your scars.
You did them.
Not your disorder.
You can't blame this on me.
Look at how your friends treat you.
This keeps happening because you lack value.
Go away. Hide.
Don't show your face in front of anyone.
You are causing pain.
It's all your fault.
Everything.
You don't deserve sympathy.
You don't deserve a listening ear.
I spit on you.
I loathe you.
You disgust me.
You will never get passed this.
I will always be here to remind you of who you really are.
Don't show your face.
Don't talk about your feelings.
It doesn't matter how you feel.
Nobody cares. Everyone hates you.
You know you want to cut again.
You know you want to see your blood drip down to your fingers.
You miss that feeling, don't you?
Tarnish yourself.
Beat yourself down.
Hurt yourself and your pride.
See how many people will still stand by your side.
Look. Those two already left.
Two down. Ten more to go.
You will be alone.
I will seek to it.
You stupid bipolar girl.
Go back in that corner.
And lock yourself in.
Keep everyone out
They'll leave eventually.
It's all your fault.
It's all your fault.
It's all your fault."

Mine. It's all my fault.

And that kids, is the story of how I disappeared.