Love Letter

3

Dear Niall

Why are you forced to disappoint me like this. Liam had invited all to his home and you weren't even there, you didn't come over! I sat and stared at the door all night. I met a girl, as a friend I think. She said I was handsome, but I didn't care. After all, that wasn't you, it was a dull boring girl. Her name's Eleanor and at first she flirted with Louis, but then she got tired to even try. You know how Louis is. He flirts with all girls. Oh well, I tried not to be too nice to her, but she sat on the sofa all evening and just talked about her and her life.

You know what I learned from that, Niall? Well I learned that girls aren't attract. Yes they have large breasts and they have other things as a man don't have, but I just was disgusted by the thought of touching her or any girl. Girls aren't sexy at all. Guys are sexy and you know you're sexy. I found myself fantasizing that it was you I was talking to and maybe that was why she was still sitting there? I wanted to tell you so many things, just at that moment, but I understood that all dreams don't come true.

I have made a step forward, Niall. I have told my mom that I'm gay and you know what, she accepts me as I am. I was very happy when she said it doesn't matter, and then she asked if I was in love with someone. I blushed and I chose to lie. Nevertheless, I wanted to scream bluntly: Niall Horan!

Oh well! Louis doesn't seem to understand that I'm gay. He pushed me and he wanted me to follow Eleanor home, to her place, but I chose to leave the party alone. After all, I don't want to make mistakes and I wasn't even hungry for one night stand. And second, I wasn't horny for her.

I found an old photo of you in a box. You know what, I've put the photo in my wallet. No, you can*t see the photo but I know it's there. It was from when we were younger. You were beautiful even back then and I actually love the idea that I almost know everything about you. We've been friends a long time and maybe that's why I am in love with you? Maybe I was in love with you when we were younger? Back then  I wasn't sure about myself, but today I'm more sure of what I want. It's as if you learn with time, to distinguish idiots from wonderful people. You are a wonderful person and I miss you so much. Maybe we will meet again soon? I don't want it to be a long time between our meetings, no I could be with you every day and never get tired.

I know these letters are silly, but I can imagine that you open them, read them and then realize that you feel the same. It's as if my words give me solace. I actually put the letters in envelopes and I write your name on the outside, but they land in my desk. I'm not ready to open myself up yet and I hope that one day I will be brave enough to talk about all this with you.

Until then, I will continue and you know what, I love to fantasize about you.

Your Harry