Retaliation

Chapter Nineteen

[SHAWN]

Moms and I continued to chat until it was time for her to leave for the night.

I thanked her for being here as she kissed my forehead like I was a little kid again.

"You have a goodnight ma and tell pops I said wassup."

"I will son. Now you get some rest. I'll be back tomorrow after I take your father to theropy."

I watched her gather her things before walking out the large hospital door, leaving me in the room alone.

I grabbed the remote for the tv and began flipping through the channels. Eventhough it was 11:30 at night, I was no where near drowsy or sleepy. Plus.. I wasnt in a rush to fall asleep. It seems like everytime I closed my eyes, I'd find myself back in that burning house.

I know a grown ass man like me shouldnt be having no nightmares or let alone scared of it but it felt so damn real. It was as if I could feel the fire on my skin again and everytime I would wake up, I would be drenched in sweat. It was so bad that the night nurse who would come in, would ask me if I had just got out a hot shower and jumped into bed without drying off. Some even ask if my a/c was off.

So no, I was not in a rush to fall asleep. If I was going back to a place similar to Hell, I was going to go involuntarily not voluntarly.

I kept flipping through the channels trying to find something. I ended up stopping on BET to watch the late night reruns of Martin.

After awhile of watching, I started thinking about Paula.

I wonder what she's doing right now.. probably sleeping. Man I miss the way she use to make that little whistling noise when she was asleep and the way she would get annoyed when she would find me watching her sleep. Damn my baby was gorgeous. I thought to myself.

A part of me couldnt help but wonder how she would react when Greg gets up the nerve to tell her. I'm just hoping she'll give me a chance to explain everything.  Eventhough there is no explaning what I did. All I could do at this point is hope for the best. If I could some how reherse what I wanted to say to her, I would but that option is out of the question.

If and when the moment comes for Paula and I to come face to face.. I wanted whatever the hell I came up with to be nothing but the truth, not recited and fraudulent.

After all.. if she deserves anything.. she deserves to know the truth. I owe her that.

I snapped out of my thoughts when a knock grazed the door and the night nurse walked in.

"Mr. Blew, you're still up?" She said as she checked the time.

"Yup. Watching a lil tv."

She walked over to the machines and started checking and writing down some information.

"You know, your body would be able to heal faster if its well rested. Can't expect to see a speedy recovery if your body is too tired to do its work."

"No need for the little kiddie pep talk nurse. I'm just not exhausted." I said as I repositioned myself in the bed.

"Thats no kiddie pep talk hun, its only facts."

"Yeah."

She smiled.

"Is there anything I can get you since you're up?" She asked as she headed to the door with her clipboard and folder.

"No ma'am. Im good."

"You have a good night Mr. Blew."

"I'll try." I responded before she walked out.

Hours passed as I watched episode after episode. I found myself watching eleven o'clock, turn into twelve and twelve o'clock turn into one. Until I realized I wasnt going to last much longer. I was already yawning none stop and my eyes were getting heavy from the medicine.