Mess / Rant

Eyes On The Future, Life Is Great My People

2-18-17

I'm vibing to the weeknd and God Im excited for the future.

I feel all sexy and confident and life is chill af 👌

Cities in my head. I have so many plans. Sometimes I don't see a month ahead of me, sometimes all I see is tonight, and sometimes I can't stop thinking of the future. God. All I want to do is make music and rap and work work work. Fuck school. My dreams could fill this school to its brim of something they don't understand. It's bigger than my body, every emotion I have. I'm getting honest as hell oops.

I literally act nothing like a chick. Ive realized this. Fuck, my makeup is more of an art and a statement. I don't hide behind it and I literally give no shits. Idk. I'm a dude. Spiritually. For a thousand reasons. Lmao.

My roses aren't dead yet but I dropped my cactus again so it has even less dirt and it doesn't even stand up right. It's draping itself over the edge of the black box thing. It's sad as shit. Maybe I'll like throw it at something. Or cook it. Bc who can be able to say they cooked cactus. Just fry the bitch in butter. I can see it happening.

I sound so cliche but imma do this forever. Everything. Make mistakes, create, do bad shit. It's all a cycle and I'm so ready for it. I'm so confused because I don't really expect this to stay. Life is pointless, that's been all I've felt for awhile. Now I'm here. And I don't care if it leaves. That's what I've sort of learned to do. Enjoy whatever you've got while you've got it. You'll be nostalgic for even the bad shit, so keep living. Do whatever you need to do to survive, fuck what they tell you. Morals are just a matter of opinion, really, and they don't have to understand why you do what you do. This life is yours. Bad shit happens, don't worry about it.

So when I'm an underground artist with some amount of following, I've got plans to just take some of my fans out and do crazy shit. Like idk just smoke and drink and fuck something up and turn up. I'd get in trouble for it if I were like mainstream because there's no guarantee they're not minors but aye I'm not carding them, that's lame af. Yolo. This is waaay down the road in the future though but yeah. Or at least give them a taste of what I do. Memories and shit. Relive it all in a new way. Make it personal.

I am so goddamn alive. I'd be lying if I said I'm not afraid of the fall later on in the year (if this ends up staying as a mania high streak) but you know. Such is life. You live, you learn. Nothing matters. This year, I want to be more productive in everything. Just kick ass. I'm planning to get a job, too, even just for the summer. Bc August will kill me if I don't.

This is probably the most positive update I've had because this isn't even random. Just real. Just life.

I haven't showered in over three days 👌🤘

P.s. I'm good I'm good I'm great know it's been awhile now I'm mixing up the drank

^^ 🍾👌👌

Peace ✌️

(I should like start giving you the emoji(s) I've been using. Like just end these updates with that. Because I use some random emojis and idek why. I'm just trash lol)

For example:
🦄👀🐔

They understand me.

- Randy