5-5-17 I just got home, from helping Ash clean, I met her country boyfriend who's honestly the only one I can say I think is a good option like I ain't even red neck but goddamn I'm digging his vibes. I'm on two energy drinks and feel like I can tackle the world. Like this has gotta be what cocaine feels like.
We went to the bank today and set her up a new bank account, and shit, and I felt professional. But I kept eating their candy and the lady helping us with nice eyebrows didn't even give three shits so naturally I kept pursuing diabetes via multi flavored Lifesavers. What else do you do lmao
I'm thinking about rearranging my room tbh, like not entirely bc I still need my bed by my window but there's a lot I could do with this no lie. I just wanna switch shit up and I have energy and motivation so I think I should do it asap.
So I've got summer plans, believe it or not. Well. Goals, actually. I'm gonna work out, or at least stay fit bc last summer I did nothing aside from a bit of shit back home, but I didn't know anyone in my moms town but now that's changed. I'm gonna get a job (even just babysitting although I hate children) because I need money. And I plan to just stay busy and do shit. And if I get money and shit, maybe I'll even set some aside for Misti, or even mail it. Idk. I like dropping money for people and being able to buy people shit. It's just nice, to me, and keeps me so I'm not all caught up in what I want. And it's funny, like sometimes when I'll get "the crew" (there's four of us, but I just reference it this way) skittles or some shit, they're so thankful, as if it's just this foreign concept I use my money on other people and it's cool tbh, I know they appreciate it. But it'll be a more common thing when I get a job.
We went speeding today, through the woods, before noon. It was really pretty and I felt connected to nature. Twas lit.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Merandas weekly supply of memes ^ 😎
I snuck my friend out last night so she could get laid and I fell asleep before she came back but she tried to wake me up to tell me how it all went but that didn't end up happening bc I was so exhausted lmao we went down to the river and swam after school and then had to walk home and I didn't eat at all afterwards so that's probably why. Not to mention this week being crazy.
I have too much shit. Like seriously my future is an episode of hoarders. Well maybe not that extreme but I have a lot of stuff. And only a room to keep it in. But I might just go through everything. Spring cleaning. Which seems to happen yearly and then I get like motivated in making my room really cool and it doesn't happen. But idk I'm starting to like my room, and it's funny because it used to feel cold and kinda just not homey. But I've made memories and they stick to the walls, sort of comforting me. And I like that I can sink into my bed and throw in my headphones and listen to Lil Peep and write and just go into my zone. And I love that there's loud noise from the tv in my living room on the opposite wall and meriah's talking on the phone across from my closet, and I hear it through the walls and somebody's got the bathroom light on but my room is dark, ceiling lit by fake stars, depth perception gone, hiding me away, avoided by the unknown factor of my awakeness, and this space is mine. And it's not about what I've got on my walls or how clean it is or where anything's at or whatever, it's just about how I feel, and what I make of it, because that's all that's gonna ricochet back.
People are interesting, and it's funny how my fascination is a little bit more dangerous when I let them in. It's one thing for a muse to be at a distance, but it's a whole new ballpark when you have to confront them, risk losing them, losing your focal point, and the lines you write on them have to shapeshift. But endings are really new for me, and maybe that's a bad thing but maybe it isn't. Sometimes you have to look at an end, and zoom out a little, look at the whole world, and your life and what else there is for you to focus on, because this isn't the end of everything. Just take a minute, breathe, and collect yourself.
We're getting deep. Oops. Girls on drugs by wale. Or something like that. It's like we go deep and we ain't getting no sleep and we be up all night until the early rise idfk it's on my soundcloud and it's quite popular so you feel me.
But yeah. I think that's about it. Gingers are still cute and gangsters are still relatable to me, not that that makes any sense until you've got the personal background but it's petty. Soooo fuck it.
I'm still in need of a shower, bc I didn't even wash it after the river, got Mountain Dew poured in it (think "matted dog", that's my hair status), and I have another box of blonde hair dye (if you have my snapchat, you know what's up with that lmao) but I'm kinda digging my hair rn bc it's sort of making me think of a fox? Idk.
I should clean. And find that drug song. Bc lmao. But yeah. Go enjoy life, my friends.
