Mess / Rant

Life Bros

7-20-17
Lot of emotions rn, and I'm curing it with You Me At Six and Pepsi. 🤘 also. Rip Chester Bennington 💔

Idk why I feel like ranting here but I'm like not gonna do that. Just a wreck. Idk.

Lowkey need to kiss the fuck outta somebody. Anybody. "I love it when they come and go" I don't think I'm ever finished being in love with the lifestyle, and I can say I'm better than to come back but it's the only thing that's been there even when I turn my back. It's waiting there, a place of love with no words, that understands. And it's nothing simple, it's an intricate layering of everything that never stops running, cities that never sleep. An endless supply of energy that'll occupy me, entertain me at my worst without question. With physical and mental places to find it, all laced together. It shows no commitment, but it never leaves. It's the solid element I never fucking had. Loves me high and loves me low. Where else do I find that? The music's in with it.

Maybe it's my choice to be bitter, but tell me if you'd be a good person by the end of this shit show. And if you could be, then props to you. I don't think I had it in me to change, to come outta here and be a good soul. Bc the truth is? Couldn't care much less.

Day smoking night drinking street walking I think I'm wasting away a bit. Call it "time off". Or whatever.

7-25-17
It's been a bit. Haha. God. I did some crazy shit boys. Fuck. I won't explain though, but like life. And shit.

Guess who's hopping into a new relationship and is probably too intrigued by him for her own good? Yo girl. And like. I've learned a lot of lessons with people, and he's really dynamically interesting to say the least. And I'm fine with it ending. Everything ends.

I'm hella inspired. And happy? I cried last night and i haven't really cried much this summer (aside from a few times after Noah) like I never cry. I just can't. I repress a lot, and I've gone through different phases in handling my emotions but I don't know what's the healthy way to deal with them. This is just what I've learned to work with, and it's become a sort of rhythm. But it felt good to come to terms with a few things.

I wrote a rap I'm so proud of, and that'll go up to self deception soon.

Give love, my friends, even when all you feel is failure, doubt, hopelessness, and hate. Be the love that you lack so much it digs holes in you. Celebrate the side of life that you wish to. We're all human. Keep creating.

Fuck I love music. It's all I want. All I'll ever want. It's my life. My career. My future. My hope. I'd be dead without it.

I might sleep. Or maybe not. Fuck knows. I'm tired but my mind is still running. Soo.

Bottom Of The Deep Blue Sea // MISSIO
Got Friends? // Bazzi
No Duh // K.Flay
Everything Will Be Ok // G-Eazy
The Neighbourhood
- Randy