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hoseok sat at his kitchen table, right hand fingers drumming against the surface. his left hand clutched onto a piece of paper which no matter how hard hoseok hoped it disappeared it just wouldn't.
hoseok didnt believe he needed help. he sought to believe he could solve his own problems, but once again he found himself reading the same lines over and over again.
therapy sessions name: jung hoseok D.O.B: 18.02.94 reason: social anxiety, depression. fears loud noises, doesn't like public attention/large crowds. previous assigned medication: anti depressants. session time: 4-5pm
on top of the work hoseok had to deal with which wasnt making his mental health any better, he didnt have time for sessions like this. which he knew was stupid, because he needed to get better - it wasnt normal to live like this.
he had already gone to a therapist countless of times before and had even visited support groups with people who suffered similiar problems. the outcome of that was negative as it didn't make any difference to his current state.
sighing, he glanced at the clock and picked up his black coat. heading for the door to attend a place where he so badly wished didnt exist.
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hoseok sat half way through the session. not really paying any attention to the women sitting infront of him, who was constantly having to pull hoseok out of his trances.
he rubbed his hands together and tried to ignore the loud pounding of his heart. but to his dismay it only continued.
the women stopped talking as hoseoks phone lit up in his pocket, vibrating against his thigh. secretly sighing in relief hoseok excused himself then picked up the phone with shaky hands.
1 message from - taehyung 12 seconds ago.
taehyung: why aren't you answering the door?:(
hoseok frowned, unsure of how to reply. he could feel the harsh gaze of his therapist burn holes into his body, unimpressed with the whole situation.
hoseok: i'm not even in the house right now. can't talk at the moment i'll see you tomorrow or something.
taehyung: okay, stay safe beautiful
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hoseok fiddled with his door keys. if it wasnt for the long walk back he would have been at home asleep a long time ago. His session had finished around a hour ago and he couldnt be more pleased.
Hoseoks eyes skimmed past the daunting shadows of the very little furniture in his house, and the streaks of light coming from the natural moons glow was the only thing that gave hoseok any sense of where he was going - without falling into things.
His breath hitched hearing a car alarm go off in the distance, body flinching so violently he crashed into his kitchen counter, knocking off a plate which then smashed into tiny pieces on the floor. Eyes brimming with tears and heart pounding all Hoseok could see was a hard cold wooden floor which came closer and closer to his face.
The sound was too loud - too loud for Hoseok. Everything was happening at once.
No, now is not the time to have a panick attack. You are so pathetic Hoseok. Get yourself together.
Gathering his strengh he crawled into a corner, frantically reaching for his phone in his coat pocket.
hoseok: taehy ung are yo u there ?
With eyes edged with black around the corners his shaking hands could hardly grasp his phone, he read the message over and over again, unsure of whether or not to send it.
No, Taehyung cant see you like this. He can't. He would get freaked out and leave just like everyone else has.
Hoseok deleted the message. Taehyung was probably sleeping undisturbed anyway. He buried his face into his knees and tucked them against his chest, rocking slowly back and forth in a attempt to calm himself down.
Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will be a better day.
